as you wish

so i have been trying to obstain from m'lady stories but i just can't resist this one.
today she asked if i could help her with a form she had to fill out, which is basically just watching her because she doesn't let you do anything, and as i was sitting there she said "could you close that door, i can't think with them talking" so i got up and started to close her door and she said "oh no, i'm clausterphobic, you'll have to close his door."
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAA! i mean really-who could keep a story that good bottled up?

honest truth

sorry for the lack of posts. i didn't want to see Tatum's picture move down the page. and...i didn't want to have to be painfully honest. but since that's what this is all about, here goes. and again, this post may disappear if i chicken out later.
last night was a melt down night. i have to confess i have tried with everything in me to put this whole baby business behind me but last night was too much. we watched the adam sandler movie "click" and it made me sad on 2 counts. 1-i'll never have kids to wish i had spent more time with when they are older. and 2-am i fast forwarding through my life waiting for the day i have kids? after those two realizations i bawled. and then we talked about it and decided we still, no matter how much we try not to, will want kids of our own. and i don't know how to change that.

skiddish

yesterday we exchanged paul's camera for the one he really wanted. it takes incredible pictures. this is one of them. i love the lighting. tatum is not so sure of it because the first time he took her picture, it blinked at her and beeped 10 times because he had forgotten to take it off of the timer setting. so now she's not so sure about this new camera. she usually sits right up and smiles.
in other news, we finally broke down and called the vet yesterday because ever since this incedent she hasn't been regular (i'll leave it at that), even though all she's had to eat is boiled chicken breast and white rice. he called me last night to tell us that she had "some kind of bacterial infection in her bowels that her body just can't get rid of." gee, i wonder what piece of raw chicken she got that from? she is now on a medication that she has to take twice a day for 10 days. little booger.

yellow, red, blue, green

if you are not an angelo you have no idea what that title means. let me explain it to you. when we were little my mom assigned all 4 of us kids colors so that we wouldn't fight over bowls, pencils, cups etc. missy=yellow, cheri=red, dan=blue, brock=green. so now that we are all grown we still subconsciously abide by our color assignments. for instance, my sister lives in a yellow house, my house was red, brock is going to be painting his house this summer...what color you ask? green. with out even realizing it we have all stuck to our color assignment. i'm blogging to you from my new computer. paul was a little disappointed because he tried to stick to the color scheme but he got me the green one. i wear green all the time because my eyes are green and i just love the way they pop out when i wear green. so guess what i got for christmas? a green computer (which i love even though it's not red) and a wii AND a wii fit! i think paul won the lotto and didn't tell me. poor paul, he gave me a budget and i stuck to it so he got a camera that was the wrong one, some harley stuff to shine his bike and a bandana that was the wrong one. his christmas sucked. mine was very good. ok-i'm going to go play with my wii.
and Tatum wishes you a very merry christmas too.

not a word

tonight was our first home study meeting. it was very informative. we have a bunch of little projects we have to work on in the meantime. we also have to find a 3rd bedroom. sooo...dust off those boxes and here we go again. not sure where we'll land but i SURE hope god makes it clear because i'm not good at this stabbing in the dark thing.
we were also told we will not be able to say a word of any of this foster care business to ANYONE. and then there was a dramatic pause in the conversation to drive home the point. i'm scared already. and here's a couple fears i have.
1. what if we get a child that says we accused them of abuse and we really didn't? do they believe us? do the dig to the absolute bottom to find out the truth? and if they decide we are lieing and not the child will we EVER be able to adopt again? because if not i'm not sure i can do this. it's very scary.
2. what if we get kids that drive us against each other. that's scary too. up until this point we've had a fairly good marriage. sure we have our fights and our times where we'd rather be islands and not have to deal with the other. but truth be told, we don't fight that much. when we do they are quick and we resolve it. what if that doesn't stay the same?
3. what if we get kids that we can't handle? i don't know that i could "send them back". i seriously don't know how you do that. how do you give up on a child that doesn't know any better?
4. what if i say something i'm not allowed to say? i'm an open book. how do i not tell everything i know? i'm not a good liar either. for instance, when i lie, i giggle afterwards, which then makes the other person say "are you lieing?" and of course i blurt "yes." i didn't last long in DC for that exact reason. not that everyone in DC lies, i'm just sayin'.

so if you're a prayer, you can start praying for these things. now instead of saying yikes, all that comes to mind is *gulp*.

debbie downer

yesterday was a down day. i don't really have any reason why it was.
well, that's not entirely true. a couple little things that should make me feel very excited and happy kind of made me feel sad and left behind. and by kind of i mean very much so.
*sigh* why? i already had moved on. i was already beyond all of this and calling it my last chapter. i guess no matter how much i move on, i'll always feel the hole of the what could have been if _____ happened. i'm not sure how to get over that part. or if you ever do get over that part.

Us elfed...it never gets old

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

It's SANTA!!!

Tatum got to go see Santa today. She did ok. We had a couple wigging out photos but then he got this one. Sorry for the glare, I had to take a picture of the picture.

Rooney

today i found out when i took tatum to daycare that rooney died in an accident this week while he was out hunting with his dad. roonie is the one that on the first day of school mrs doolittle said "FINALLY we have someone that can keep up with roonie. poor guy hasn't had anyone to play with until tatum got here." he would have been one next month. he is actually dog of the month this month at mrs doolittle's. they went out to the kansas border to do some hunting and he ran out in front of a car and got hit. and he is so darn fast. i'm sure he went out with a smile on his face and his owner waving frantically behind him to stop. oh it breaks my heart. mrs doolittle and i shared a good cry this morning when she told me. i just can't help but think how awful this will make their christmas. ok, i'm crying again. he was such a great dog.
tonight i went to mrs doolittle's church because she was singing in their choir christmas performance, which was amazing. patsy, dixie's grandma, was one of the greeters and we talked about it. i guess dixie's mom and grandma also had good cries at the news of roonie's crossing the rainbow bridge.
the good ones are always taken so quickly!

signs

you know how i've talked about signs. like here...and here...well when this happened wednesday morning, i should have listened to the sign and just crawled right back into bed and stayed there. yes, it is in fact, my toothpaste lid. somehow it flew right out of my hand, while standing at the sink, and landed smack into the toilet. *sigh* when will i learn to listen?

My office Elfed

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

remember when i said i was so over it?

well, i'm there again. i followed this rainbow only to find out the ugly little leprechaun has OCD and she's (to keep it PG) a witch with a capital b. mmm-hmmmm.
today i cried. i haven't done that in years. but today i did and that is over the line. you know how people say "oh gemini's, don't mess with them. they are all sunshine and cherries until you cross the line." that's the line i'm talking about.
by the way-i didn't know i was a gemini until i started working in the DC office and they were all into astronomy. turns out i'm a gemini and i have two sides. the nice one and the you-just-crossed-the-line one.

the ball is rolling

we got a call from one of the women from social services on friday. i called her back and then waited patiently all day yesterday for her to call me back again. we learned in the very first meeting that we will be waiting alot. so i didn't think much of it. but when we got home there was another message from another woman introducing herself as our home study worker. yikes! it's really happening.
i just got ahold of the first woman and she wanted to make sure that we understood that when we marked "adoption" on our application that the kids that we get won't be free to be adopted right away. they will be foster. they REALLY want you to understand that this might not work out. i appreciate that. i'd rather them do that then promise me worry-free-perfect children ages 0-3 months that are free for adoption.
the second lady wanted to know when we'd like to meet for our first home study meeting. it will be about an hour long. then we'll have 2 meetings with both of us that are 2 hour meetings. then we will have individual meetings that are 2-3 hours a peice. YIKES! (i think i'll be saying that alot in the next few months.) at the rate we're going i feel like we'll be done in 60 days instead of the traditional 3-6 months. i guess i'd better start looking for a bigger place quicker than i thought.

A Christmas Story

in the winter of 1975 when i was just a wee 6 month old baby, the story goes that my father was in ace hardware and found this nativity scene. my parents were dirt poor but it was a steal and they didn't have one so he brought it home. for years it sat on the mantle above the fireplace in our childhood home. a few years back my parents went through some of their extra decorations and i inherited the nativity scene since it was bought in the year of my birth. a couple years later i pulled it out, and displayed it proudly. it doesn't have quite all of the bible characters, but it has the important ones. mary, joseph, baby jesus and the pied piper. [record scratch] WhAt ThE hEcK iS tHe PiEd PiPeR dOiNg In ThE mAnGeR sCeNe?!?! this makes no sense. in all the years this thing was on the mantle not a single one of us 4 kids questions the pied piper behind jesus, who seems to be worshiping said piper.

in news that makes a little more sense, today tatum was inducted into the family christmas stocking tradition. when we were first married and paul was in school i had no money for stockings. i guess dirt poor runs in the family when it comes to early years of marriage. i did, however, have this great fabric left over from when i made our futon cover. the green one is paul's, the red one is mine, so tatum's is red since she's a girl too. she has different trim, and hers is a bit shorter. she loves it. ok, so she doesn't quite understand yet, but she will. here she is posing next to it in the sweater she got from uncle wesley for christmas this year.

Tatum in the Snow

Christmas Music

It's that time of year again where one good radio station in town will play all your favorite christmas tunes non-stop and it begs the question: which one is your favorite? you know which one i'm talking about. the one you wait all day for and then when it comes on you shush everyone in the room and turn it up just one notch. here's mine...Dominick the Donkey.

I must say, it's the first time I've seen this YouTube version and I gotta admire a bunch of guys willing to put down their saturday beers long enough to film this.

shock and awe

tatum just pulled a george bush. it's snowing out and she LOVES the snow. i was making dinner. i got it to the point that i could walk away, bundled up in my best woolen mittens and hat, grabbed the leash and off we went. well as soon as we got out there we heard our neighbor calling tucker. tucker is a 140 pound chocolate lab that lives in the next building. tucker is a very bad boy. he's a bully. to people and to dogs. we learned that the hard way with tucker dragging his 80 pound owner by the leash one time all the while she's screaming "tucker NO! tucker STOP! tucker HEEL!" ya right, like NOW's the time to convince me he's trained. tatum doesn't even know what heel means and she speaks english. needless to say she wasn't as interested in staying out and playing in the snow since tucker was on the loose. so we came back inside and while i was taking my snowy boots off at the door she ran into the kitchen real quick. past her water bowl. past her food bowl. and beyond where i could see her. then she grabbed a toy and came out to where she thought she would no longer be connected with the scene of the crime and began to eat her toy really really super quick. i could not quite make out what the heck toy it was until i realized it was one of the pieces of chicken i had on the counter!!! see the blue plate in the background? and the sheepish look on her face? ya, she got jail time for that one. all i said was "CRIB!!!!" and she tucked her butt and ran up here into her crib. crazy dog.

Support the Literacy Center

I got this email from a friend from college and thought it was too neat to just delete. Any amount you can give helps a good cause for those that just need life to give them one more chance.

Hey everyone,

I'm trying to help Dan fundraise for his job. Each of the staff at his center has been asked to fundraise $1,000 for the company he works at. For those of you who do not know, Dan started working for a non-profit agency this summer that helps people earn their GED. He specifically works with people on probation at the court house. Dan loves his job. I might say it's the first time he has ever loved his job, and the people he works with love him. He has been complimented numerous times and has offered hope to many individuals who never hear "good job, you did it, keep up the good work." One thing he has started, is reading a poem at the end of each tutoring session. When he first started doing this the students were not sure what to think, but now they request a poem if he forgets. If a student passes the GED, Dan's present to them is a chapbook he has created with various poems he has written.

So I'm writing you to see if you might be interested in helping support Dan and his company. Here is a link that tells more of his story. If you give, you can leave a cool comment, like I did. See if you can find it. (I had no idea it would actually show up for everyone to read!)

For those of you who are poor (like us) if you give $5, that's awesome. We appreciate it.

Thanks, Kristin

eek.

ok. so i did it. we filled out the application thursday night after our information meeting. then this weekend we called our references and got those on there. then yesterday paul finished it up by signing it. today...i mailed it. we are now officially in the process of becoming foster parents. by sending in our application it will automatically start our home study. and our classes are january 9th, 10th and 31st. after the home study is completed we're on "the list" and we wait for "the call". don't the quotation markes make the words seem more daunting?

yesterday was my mayan abdominal massage. i have to say-it was so relaxing i'm still sleepy today. it was good though. it kinda hurt when she went over my ov's. i was expecting to be a little more emotional. but i wasn't. i guess it's supposed to release some serious emotions when they massage your belly. maybe it's a sign that i've let go of expectations. or maybe deep down inside i always saw this coming. not sure. but it was good. and i think i'd better go get another massage next month for good measure.

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

we have been getting snow this week which, to tatum, is the ULTIMATE delight. she absolutely LOVES the snow. the other night i took her out for a late night walk and she got to be off leash since no one else was out. she dove and rolled in the snow. then she'd bury her face in a snowbank. then she'd run up ahead and try to catch the snow that she was kicking out in front of herself, which only made her run faster. she just can't think of a better thing to be on the ground. but when we come inside she has these little snow clumps all over. here's a picture after our late night walk. see all the snowballs attached to her tummy? and she gets this look on her face as if i'm the one responsible for making her tummy so darn cold. (click on the picture to see a close up...)

more things to think about

tonight was full of information. here's some of what we learned.
there are currently 500,000 children in foster care in the united states alone. 126,000 of those children are legally free, which means, either their parents relinquished their parental rights, or the courts did it for them. 92% of the children in foster care have had some kind of abuse. (to keep this PG, i'll let you think about that.) just for understanding, children NOT in foster care have these statistics: girls abused 1 in 3 or 4 (about 28%); boys abused 1 in 4 or 5 (about 22%).
every year 126,000 children age out of the foster care system with no one to care for them and no where to go. of those 126,000 30% end up homeless while only 2% get their college degree. the math on that is 37,800 end up homeless while 2,520 finish college. eye opening isn't it? to adopt a baby from china we are looking at $20,000 to $30,000 and about a 3 year process. are you ready for the numbers on foster children? it is going to cost us $139 to adopt (no, i'm not forgetting any zero's) and it will take us anywhere from 3-6 months to get certified. does this mean we'll be bringing babies home left and right in the spring? no. this means that our home will be open and available to any child that is pulled out of their home. i know the next question: what kind of child is that? any child that is in a home is the kind of child that could be taken out. it could be a baby, it could be 17, it could have broken bones, it could be burned, it could have been sexually abused, physically abused, neglected, left to fend for themselves and siblings, it could be a single child, it could be 1 of 5 children, it could be the oldest child, it could be the 3rd in line, it could be all 5 children, it could be a sweet child, it could be a problem child. it could be a child that is like your neighbor, the kid at the park, a kid you just saw at the store throwing a fit, the degenerate you saw key a car in the parking lot. if it's under 18, it could go in foster care. BUT - just because they go into foster care doesn't mean we get them. we will go through a home study that will help us evaluate what we are truly willing and qualified to care for. i don't think we are old enough, wise enough or seasoned enough to take care of the degenerate that just keyed the car in the parking lot. but it will help us take a step back and say "ok yes, we like babies, but maybe we'd be better with 3-5 year olds." we think we want a 7-10 year old boy, but maybe we'd be better with a 6 year old girl. we don't really know. again, we are just knocking on every door to see which one opens. the other fact in this game...the process will take about 12 months for the courts to decide that the child would be better off available for adoption than with their birth parents. it is also the duty of the court to keep the biological family as intact as they possibly can. what this means is, while we are working to bond and educate and love this child, their parents are working to get them back. they will see a judge at 3 months, 6 months, 9 months and 12 months. in that time the judge could say "well, you took 10 steps back, but OH LOOKY THERE! you did take 1 step forward. let's give you another 3 months and see how you do." if at any point in the process the parent is able to provide the MINIMUM STANDARD to care for the child, the child goes back. the minimum standard is: food, shelter, clothing and education. it is not halloween costumes, saturday morning pancakes and a stocking full of their favorite candies every christmas morning. regardless of the fact that we would be able to better provide for the child, fact is, we would be the bottom of the list after ALL KINSHIP was established unsuitable. by the way, our county has won awards for establishing kinship. that means, and is not limited to, finding fathers, that may not know they are fathers; finding grandparents states away; locating a long lost aunt or uncle, or cousin or sibling. all of these people have precident over us in the pecking order of who can adopt this child. so we are going through the process. it will be an emotional roller coaster and there will be many times that i am posting with tears in my eyes and beating my head against the wall that we even tried. but in the end, it won't cost me a penny. just a few days of my time for training and a few nights of filling out endless paperwork. but if that will make the difference in the life of one child, it will all be worth it to us.

excited. but trying not to be.

today i'm excited. i'm trying my hardest not to be but i can't help it. tonight is the first "information meeting" for foster kids in colorado and i can't wait to hear what they have to say. the other night was a story sharing time with other foster families. tonight is the nitty gritty information. and january we are signed up for a 24 hour class to get certified. it's just the beginning and we have a long way to go but it's something. it's a direction other than standing still or backwards, both if which we've been in this past year and a half.
tatum is excited because we had snow up to her belly this morning when we went out to potty. she LOVES snow. you should have seen her at grandma and grandpa's this past weekend. the snow was knee deep on me in some places. grace and alyssia even made a snow man. darn-i don't have any pictures to post but it was cute cute cute.

holidays and all that comes with it

this morning i woke up at 4:28am in order to shower and get to the airport for our 6:40am flight. we left the house on time. stopped at mom and dad's new little donut spot and then headed down to the highway. except jacksonville has lots and LOTS of bridges. and there was someone trying to jump from one of the bridges this morning. the police had the highway baracaded off. so we went around the other way and got to the gate JUST in time for boarding. unfortunately it was not in time to stop for a starbucks. no worries, i thought, i'll get one in atlanta. got to atlanta and ran from one gate to the next gate 4 terminals away. again, no time for a starbucks. it was a packed flight and it was one of those planes that has two seats, an isle, 3 seats, an isle and then 2 more seats. well just about when you think they can't pack another soul onto the flight a big momma jomba comes down the isle. she, of course, belongs to the middle seat in the middle isle. she sits down and behind her trails a child in pajamas. the whole plane is watching this escapade develop. the woman next to her said "oh!" and the guy on the other side said something about him not needing his own seat. "oh no, if they are under 2 years old, they don't need a ticket and they can sit on your lap." hmm....if this kid was 2 i was about 18. maybe he was 2 in backwards dog years. he could read the kid was so old. just because you put a kid in footie pajamas does not make them younger. before the flight even took off he was puking into a bag. they ride like this almost 5 hours from atlanta to denver. we pull up to the gate in denver. everybody gets their carry on bags and stands in the isle. and stands. and waits. until finally the pilot says "ok folks. where gonna need you to take your seats again...we have to tow the plane closer to the gate because there's a problem with the ramp." ha! i know this poor guy was thinking "get me off this plane!!!"
in case you're wondering, tatum did well, she's a bit skinny because she would only eat if grandma would hold her food bowl. i think we have created a diva. we'll have to work on that.

questions

ok. the adoption process has brought up quite a few questions and rightfully so. here are some answers to some of the questions that have risen so far:
>are you going to quit trying for your own? no, we won't quit trying but we are hoping it won't prevent us from adopting one of the hundreds of foster children that are hoping for their forever family.
>if you got pregnant would you stop the process of adopting? no. our hearts are broken now for these kids. we won't give up on them.
>did the doctor tell you you can't have kids? no. we would have to go through the entire process of fertility drugs before they'd give up on us. that includes, and is not limited to in vitro fertilization. that is tens of thousands of dollars and we just don't feel that we want to spend tens of thousands on a child with our genes when there are this many orphans around the world. it is not their fault they are orphans, nor is it their fault that they don't have our genes. they were born through our heart, not through our womb and we are ok with that.
>do you think there's anything wrong with in vitro (IVF)? absolutely not. we have a godchild born through in vitro and i would not her up for the world. i don't think there is anything wrong with ivf. it's just not a route we want to take. there are lots of hormone injections and medications that i just don't want to put my body through. you think i'm exaggerating? ask the guys i work with how well i react to clomid and they will tell you i should NOT take stronger fertility drugs.
>have you ever known an adopted person? um. you must not know my family. we have adoption going back for generations. with out adoption i would not have a single cousin on my mom's side. so yes. i am very familiar with people who have been adopted and i hope my family can coach me through it and help me not make the big dumb mistakes. so-family-here's my call for help. let me know any advice you have.
>are you sure you want to adopt? yes. i'm sure at this point it would be a sin to leave these kids where they are.
>i thought you said you'd never adopt a foster child from the us and you'd prefer a foreign orphan? yes. i said that. i found out on saturday that i'm an idiot. turns out every child, no matter what resources are available or not available to them, need the love of a family.
>what if you get a kid who ________? guess what....even if i give birth to the child doesn't guaranty me a free ride to a perfect family.
>are you expecting this kid to come in and fill a "hole" for you? no. i'm hoping to fill a "hole" for the child. yes, i want kids. yes, it has left a hole in me. but i also know that there is no give and take with kids. it's all give. and i'm ok and ready for that.
>how long does it take? 3 years for a chinese baby girl. about 1 - 2 years for other nationalities depending on age and country of origin. if we adopt through foster, not that we are doing this because it's faster, it's really not, the woman on saturday said if we did everything absolutely perfect right now today we would be lucky to have them home by the beginning of next school year.
>why don't you adopt a baby? we're open to adopting babies. we're a little aimless right now but for now we just have to try every door until one of them opens.

there are a lot more questions that i haven't been asked and i'm not offended. i know this is puzzling and scary process for most people. we feel a call from god to adopt. i think had we been listening he's been calling us for longer than a year and a half. i am suspecting he gave us the miscarriage so that we would realize the desire that we have for children. by giving us a taste of starting a family. now we have gone through the infertility stage so that paul would agree to get me a dog. i needed something to mother. now i KNOW adopting a dog is nowhere close to the same as adopting a child. but it has helped me see that i can love something (and let me tell you i'm ridiculous with that dog) that i did not give birth to.
where is all of this going? i have no clue. keep watching the blog and maybe we can figure it out.

aimless

well, we got a call from the adoption service yesterday. alex had so much response they had to take his profile down and stop taking applications on him for now. we can check back in a couple weeks to see if none of those families panned out and try again. i feel a bit aimless to not have somebody to hope for.
she said i could go on their web page and look at other children. problem is, i can't even pick out a CHRISTMAS tree because i feel so bad for the others left behind. when we got tatum i told the breeder to bring us the puppy nobody else wanted. we have a fake christmas tree now because of all of the tearful goodbyes we had to say to christmas tree lots. so....we'll see.

flexible

well we went to the thing on saturday and they said they were praying and believing for 500 people to show up and 1200 people came!! whoa. and then the woman from colorado social services got up and just cried and cried that so many people would care about her orphans. and she said never in her 20-some years of working for the government she had never known the church and state to come together like that and for it to be that successful. she said that she could not have paid enough money for all of those agencies to come together like that. ok. so all that being said.
we went in saying "we'd be willing to adopt one child and we'd like it to be an infant or toddler." we left disappointed that a trio of brothers already has an adoption in progress. but we did find another little guy named Alex that we are wanting to put our name in the hat for. all we know about him is that he's 7 and that he likes baseball and football. i know what you're thinking, there are LEAGUES more issues that we are not aware of. yes. that is very true. and we may not even be qualified to adopt him. but if you were that 7 year old boy hoping that someone would love you and know you and you wouldn't just be a number in the system, wouldn't you hope that we would at the very least put our name in the hat? so we'll see. if you pray, pray for guidance for us because obviously, going in thinking we were going to go down the chinese baby route and leaving on the older sibling route are two TOTALLY different routes. the only thing we do know for sure now is that we are open for adoption.

coming out of the closet....

ok. i think i'm ready to tell.
last sunday we started the application process to adopt a baby girl from china.
now don't get excited. there are quite a few things you need to know.
first and foremost, it takes 3 years from application to bringing her home.
second, there are so many stipulations that we might not be eligible.
here are some of them:
1. we have to have a net worth of $80,000. right now i can only come up with $30,000. unless our florida house all of a sudden becomes worth $50,000 more than it's worth today.
2. we have to have a body mass index of under 40. i would have to weigh 225 to top that. at the rate i'm going, in 3 years, i may be there.
3. we have to be older than 30, under 44. got that covered unless it takes us 11 years to come up with that other $50,000.
4. we have to be married 2 years, 5 if either of us had been married before. we'll be married 7 years in february. so even if you add the two time frames together we still have that covered.
5. we have to have certain levels of education. luckily we both have college degrees.
and there's more that i just can't think of and even more that i don't know about yet. so we'll see. this may not work for us.
i also looked into nepal. if you have a girl already, you can only adopt a boy. if you have a boy, you can only adopt a girl. if you have a girl AND a boy, you can't adopt. so if we had a baby in the process, we gotta change gears and i'm not sure if you can.
guatemala is closed to adoption right now.
so, tomorrow is the seminar down in the springs for colorado foster kids. we'll go and see what that's about. still not sure that's what i'm ready for but we'll see where god leads us. maybe i'll get down there and cry through the whole thing and come home with 5. ha. just kidding. i don't think they are handing them out like "free ipods". so here goes another kind of roller coaster.

oh-and on other fronts, i am scheduled for my mayan abdominal massage for december 7th. we'll see what that produces. literally.

christmas cards for the soldiers

my dad sent me this email and i think it's the coolest thing. and they've got some good cards too.
If you go to this web site, www.LetsSayThanks.com you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq . You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to some member of the armed services.

How AMAZING it would be if we could get everyone we know to send one!!! This is a great site. Please send a card. It is FREE and it only takes a second.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these? Whether you are for or against the war, our guys and gals over there need to know we are behind them.

HaPpY BiRtHdAy to MuDdErS!!!!!

Happy Birthday to MUDDERS!
Happy Birthday to Mudders....
HaPpY BiRtHdAy dear MuDdErS!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!!!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
I love you and I hope you have 89 more! (I know, selfish of me but it's true.)

an honor and a privilege

so last night i bumped into some neighbors that i hadn't seen in a while and they mentioned that they had just gotten back from visiting their son, daughter-in-law, and new baby granddaughter. (i know-i just can't get away from the babies.) but i said "oh, what did they name her?" "tatum!" i said "oh my gosh-don't tell them that you know a dog named tatum." "oh no, that's where they heard the name. we were talking about tatum and they loved the name so much that's what they named their daughter." !!! so i'm not the only one that thinks my dog is the greatest! !!! people are even naming their CHILDREN after her!

whaaaaaatttt?

seriously, could this BE any cuter? (say it in a chandler bing tone of voice.) if you don't see anybody there, give it a minute. there is nothing better than sleeping puppies.
Live TV : Ustream

redecorating

i LOVE change. and i LOVE redecorating things. i even made the cover to my futon so i can flip it over and the other side is totally different. and my family room is chocolate brown leather so i can change the pillows and wah-lah, new family room. so i LOVE that i can redecorate my blog whenever i want to, and that i can do it for free. do you like the punkins?

I need to be a foot taller

i am currently gaining pounds by the day and i don't know what to do to stop it. i can't run which is how i've always kept the weight off before. i am eating salads for lunch but they make me starving by 3:00 and my stomach in knots by the time i get home so that clearly is not the answer. i want to work out but i'm so afraid of all of the conflicting information. i'm going to get a mayan abdominal massage in december. and we are taking off the next few months to get some vitamins into our system and get me some more mayan massages. but i'm going to ask for a yoga dvd for christmas and i'll ask my mayan massuse what kind of exercise i can do because it specifically lists running as one of the reasons i could be inconceivable. ha! i know that's not the real meaning of that word, but it sure fits that sentance doesn't it? at the rate i'm going now i need to be about a foot taller to not be considered overweight. BOOOO!!!

i'm ready

real quick because i should be in the shower. tatum does this cute thing while we are watching tv she brings us a ball and we throw it. but she always makes sure neither one of us feels left out. so she'll take it to paul. he'll throw it. then she'll bring it to me. back and forth back and forth. well last night i had this bag of doggie biscuits that she had gotten from Mrs. Doolittle for her birthday, and i had them sitting in the chair in the family room. so i was on the loveseat quilting, paul was on the couch and then this bag of doggie biscuits in the chair. i noticed that she was being awfully still and patient but looking at the chair and i looked up and realized she had put the ball right in front of the doggie biscuits and was waiting patiently for that bag to throw the ball for her. i said "um...huney bear...that bag of biscuits isn't gonna throw the ball anytime soon." she looked at me like "be quiet! i don't want it to feel left out."

...

i don't go for country music but here's something i found on my fertility friend's page that sums up a fraction of what i am going through:

more on the step

ok, i'm reading through this web page, and i probably shouldn't be. but it's killing me....now i want to adopt a threesome of siblings.
http://www.adoptex.org/site/PageServer?pagename=wchildform

Caffe Luna

This morning I went to my favorite little coffee spot, Caffe' Luna, on our way to doggie day care and there was a line out the door! It's so delicious. If you live anywhere near Longmont, you have to go here:

Tonight Paul is going down to his parents to go camping/cutting wood/having "the talk" with Jacob. I am so torn. I want to just pack up my quilt and Tatum and go down and just quilt all weekend but I have SO much to do. I don't think we've done the dishes since Monday. The house is a mess with dog toys strewn about like a tornado came through her toy basket. There is a layer of some kind of dust/gunk on all the bathrooms. I'm still up in the air. And if I don't go, I can go to a ladies movie night for a group at my church, or go see Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat at the high school, and we have a tenative date with Buster tomorrow morning to go to the dog park. *sigh* what to do, what to do?!

step

well. we signed up anyway. on the 22nd there is an adoption seminar down in the springs regarding foster children in colorado waiting to be adopted. we signed up on sunday but i'm just getting the courage now to tell you. this does not mean on the 22nd we will be adopting a kid. it just means we are checking out what is going on in the foster care world. it will also be the day that my period is due so i may not be much fun if i have nothing to look towards. it also means that i will be NO fun for thanksgiving with family and i'm very sad about that. but. usually the first glimmer of hope i have every month is the positive ovulation test that i get on day 18. and i won't be anywhere NEAR close to day 18 over thanksgiving. i know, you think i don't need to jump that far ahead because maybe i'll be pregnant this month. ya. and maybe the last year and a half didn't happen either. i just don't have much hope left. one of my fertility friends said that a nun friend of hers told her to visualize herself with a baby and pray for that. i'm trying. i'm trying to visualize myself with more than one baby in hopes that the clomid will overwork and i'll get multiples. but deep down inside there's just alot of doubt. i'm rambling. i just thought i should share since this blog is all about what's going on. don't want to talk about this in person. just in case, let's review the rulz.

small town usa

i'm thinking about changing my wrong list out and updating you on things i like about longmont.
today i went to the thrift store because i need more pants for work. since i am not running right now in pursuit of a baby my middle has gotten quite comfortable in the spreading state. however, because of the time change i got there 30 minutes before they opened instead off 30 minutes after they opened. there's a little cafe around the corner that i've been meaning to try but just don't hang out down there too often so i had never been in there. i figured what a better time than now to go in. i ordered and they told me $3.50. handed over my plastic because i just never carry cash. they said "check or cash". Darn! so i said "oops! don't make it because i have neither." they said "ah, you look honest, we'll just start a tab for you." are you kidding me?! so they whipped out a paper bag next to the register and took down my first name only and my phone number and then wrote down $3.50 and said "there, now you can just pay us back next time you come in." ha! and it was a freaking GOOOD cup of coffee. actually it was a latte. it was like expresso royale for all you chambanan's. yum.ee. i had to call brock and tell him.
then i went back over to the thrift store. no jeans for me-darn it. well they had some but they were all mom jeans. you've seen the SNL skit with the "new 9 inch zipper!" yes. they were THOSE kind of jeans.
but i did score a couple pairs of dress pants and 3 sweaters. all for the low low price of $13.97. i know-i kicked butt huh?

Happy Halloween!!!

Ok...so I love halloween. It's not my favorite holiday but I do enjoy it. we always have jacob and grace over for halloween so we can do fun stuff like carve pumpkins, play video games until 6am (sorry dawn), and fill them up with sugar and send them home. but this time we really couldn't think of ONE good solid thing to do with them. until about 2:30 when i remembered that our church was doing trunk or treat. so i called paul and said "how 'bout it?" and remembered i had some good hippy stuff grace could wear and jacob wanted to be an m&m, which i thought was a stellar idea. then he said teenage mutant ninja turtle-again i loved the idea. but he finally settled on being a ninja. we had some black clothes and mask and then him and paul made cardboard/tin foil swords. all in all our costumes cost $0. i was a geisha girl, tatum was an octopus and paul was her ocean this time. it took some coaxing. he did NOT want to be a part of the dressing up. but he did. he said it was a big hit. told him so. anyhow...here are some pics.
Here we are..dogs and all. cookie was a snow princess of sorts:

here is grace in front of a funkytown trunk at the trunk-or-treat. they got a picture with grace and she was quite honored:

jacob was a really good ninja. he's taking chinese so instead of saying "thank you" he said it in chinese. I can't spell it though.
i know, i could fix the red eyes but they made the picture so much better so i left them:

then we came home and carved pumpkins.

which required serious concentration:

and some collaboration:

in the end they turned out so cute. bet you'll never guess whose is whose. we really did carve them on halloween. i think our camera timer is still set for eastern time zone though. oops. i guess it's not as bad as taking all of dan's wedding pictures on 7/7/7 with the date set to 6/15/06. ?? what the heck?? how did i screw that up so bad. anyway-tangent sorry.



and then the kids sorted their loot while we watched a movie starting at midnight. yes-this is what they love about aunt cheri and uncle paul's house.

jacob nailed it on the head when he said "man we made out like BANDITS!!" he's not lieing! have you ever seen so much candy from one night of trunk-or-treating?

guilty guilty GUILTY

see this look:

it means "i'm too cute to be mad at me right?" which is equivalent to saying "i'm guilty as charged and i loved your mouthguard more than you did. mmmm...mmmm."

yes. that's right. tatum ate my $500 mouth guard made from the dentist in DC because i am a teeth grinder. didn't know it until my gums were receding and he looked at my teeth and said "oh you're a teeth grinder." i know what you're thinking. "sucker. he just made an easy $500 on you." except that he was the third dentist to tell me that AND my teeth hurt now because my gums have receeded so badly from all the teeth grinding. I know!! who wouldda thunk it could do that right? well, it does. so....now we gotta figure out which is worse. spend the $500 (which we won't have until next spring AFTER my hsg test) or let me grind away at night.

empanada recipe

here is the infamous empanada recipe:

1 lb hamburger (this is the only time i use the 80/20 fat hamburger.)
1 lb sausage
Brown the meat, then add:
1/2 t salt
1/2 t chili powder
1 jalepeno (optional)
1/3 of a red onion diced
After those have sauteed add:
28 oz can diced tomatoes
1 can of black beans drained
1 cup of corn (that's a new addition-it's optional)
Cook it on medium/low heat for 20 minutes or until it boils down a little.
Take off the heat and add:
1/2 bundle of cilantro (just the leaves, no stems)


Then put that in the fridge over night.


The next day....
Sift:
4 c flour
2 t baking powder
2 t salt
Then cut 1 stick of butter into little dice sized pieces and drop into flour. Pinch the butter into the flour until it all feels grainy. Then add 1 cup of water slowly, depending on the weather sometimes you need more water, other times not quite the whole cup. You want the dough to JUST come together with out falling apart. Then cover it and leave it for 20 minutes. Then cut it into 16 balls, just half it, half those, then half those etc...until you get 16. Then roll them out like little pie shells, put the refridgerated meat mix into the shells and fold over, like a hot pocket. At this point you can put some into the freezer for later. Then when you are ready to bake them, brush only the pocket but not the seam with an egg wash of one egg and 1 T of water. Bake for 20 minutes, spin the pan around and 20 minutes again. and then they are done. Best served with guacamole. Let me know if you'd like that recipe because it's sooooo good fresh.

hoorah for me!

tonight was a very productive night. i got off work at 5:30. went to the store for this week's groceries. came home and made spaghetti sauce, half for freezin, half for wednesday night and i'm sure there will be leftovers. on another burner i made the filling for empanadas that i will make later this week. i know it seems crazy but they have basically the same ingredients so it's just easier to make them at the same time and have a fridge/freezer full of food. on yet another burner i made pork chops for tonights dinner and then we ate the leftover long grain rice and peas along with it. then i made 4 dozen pumpkin/chocolate chip muffins to take to work tomorrow. Paul took 4 dozen to his work today and said they were gone in a flash and many people thanked me from the bottom of their hearts. then i did 2 loads of laundry and walked the dog. now i am going to bed.

hot off the press

we didn't make the newspaper but the bumble bees did. i'm glad because i didn't get a picture of them. there's 4...the one is kind of back behind her sister. so cute. here's the article if you want to read more.

hit of the parade

today we were supposed to go to the pumpkin patch with Dawn, Paul's sister, and her 2 kids but it didn't work out. So Tatum and I got up and went down to the parade. She, of course, was her octopus self, and I was her backdrop, the ocean. she could NOT figure out what was on my head.

we were standing in line for the parade and lots of people took our picture. and one guy came up to me then and said "i'm with the times call....what's your name...how do you spell that?" etc etc etc.
so eat that petsmart. you can have your jippy contest we might be in the newspaper and that lasts forever and a petsmart gift card only lasts for $20. i'm not bitter though. as we were walking EVERYONE said "oh my goodness-how cute." and tons of people said "i have NEVER seen that before, can I take your picture?" why of course! another woman said "so is she your only child?" "so far" i beamed. i just explained that i love halloween, not as a pagan holiday, but as a kid holiday and i love to make it more fun for kids. all the parents loved that i was dressed up as well as tatum. there were some cute costumes. one family of FOUR girls were bumblebee's. oh gosh so cute. i saw a couple skunks.

and lots of others. it was cute. and so much fun. and best of all mrs. doolittle, otherwise known as Esther in real life, was there along with Dixie, the other wheaten from daycare. she is so cute and has a MUCH better haircut than tatum. we are going to her beauty parlor next time.

punkin time!

This is the cutest thing. If you go here you can carve your own pumpkin: Pumpkin Simulator.

Just hold down your left mouse button and carve your little hearts out. Er...wait...maybe I should say carve to your little hearts content. Ya, that's better. And then you gotta click "done" to see your finished product.
How cute!

HaPpY BiRtHdAy, TATUM!!!

today tatum turns one whole year old. can you believe it? she even got to open one of her presents before we went to work. i wrapped them in tissue paper because tissue always entices tatum. she LOVED it.
then tonight we had a little bit of a birthday party and guess who came over? BUSTER. and we finally got pictures. and i must say he looked awfully handsome in his birthday party hat.

and then we sang happy birthday. i know, pathetic, but i didn't start it, nor did i object.

and then we had cake, i had to help tatum stay in her bowl. she's not much of an eater unless it's a competition.

and then we opened presents. and then we played a little bit more before buster had to go home.

it was a fun time.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LITTLE GOLDEN BEAR!!!!

jipped!

well we got jipped. and i mean big time jipped. i don't have much time and photos will come later but we went to petsmarts howl-o-ween party last night and as soon as we walked in the door everybody cooed "oh an octopus!" "oh my gosh-she's so cute!!!" etc etc etc. and there were some CUTIE cute costumes. one dog was one of those big dogs like the dog in peter pan, and he had a little cowboy in a saddle on his back. a dachshund was a porcupine. VERY cute. and there were some schnauzers, ok so i'm biased since i LOVE schnauzers, but they were brother/sister and they were a football player and a cheerleader. too cute. personally i think store bought costumes should not be allowed to win, but here's the break down:
3rd place: a chijuajua (how DO you spell chijuaua?) dressed as a dragon/alligator
2nd place: the dachshund porcupine
and 1st place: you'd think it would be the wheaten terrier octopus but no...it was a set of chijuajuas that were a witch sort of thing-it was like witch shaped but it was orange fabric so i'm not sure what she was supposed to be, and her brother, a military man. cute yes. award winning no. and you could tell everyone in the room was like "really...the chijuajua's?" now, i don't think Tatum should have won FIRST place, because the porcipine was cah-ute! but she should have at least beat out the chijuajuas. but that's my two cents.

attitude

we joke all the time about my grandma angelo's attitude. her tag line was always "i don't understand why the world has to be so happy." she always had a way to spit the "pp's" out when she said "happy". almost made you feel guilty for giggling at her sourpuss attitude. but i have to admit i am having a hard time keeping a good attitude about this whole baby thing. today i watched this:

and wondered, how do i get that kind of attitude? i don't want to sit around and cry all the time but it's not like i come with a switch for such occassions. i'm working on it but i make no promises.

hesitant

this week was quite a roller coaster. i'm not sure i totally feel like posting but i guess since this blog is all about what's really going on with me i feel like i should share. like the kidney bean post, this could disappear if i change my mind later this morning.
here goes.
monday night i crawled into bed realizing the sheets need to be changed. i rolled over in bed to see an inch of dust on the nightstands. i looked into the bathroom only to remember i haven't cleaned them since the last time we had company. which was a very long time ago. i cried because i realized for the first time just how much depression i've been living through with all of this trying to conceive business. tuesday i was more depressed than ever. i got myself a granita...it's sort of like the longmont locals version of a frapaccino. those always put me in a better mood. but me + caffeine + 3:00 in the afternoon = way too much energy at the end of the day. so i went home and cleaned the house. i was determined. i didn't even sit down when i got home. i just started cleaning. paul made dinner but realized we needed eggs so he ran to the store. being alone in the house i broke down and took a preg test. my period was due and i didn't feel it coming so i thought i might as well try. and it happened. i got a very very VERY faint double line. if you squinted and held it just right you could see it. (a double line means you're pregnant.) i wasn't sure since it was so very faint so i posted to my fertility friends and told them. one of the girls posted a link for another girl about pregnancy tests so i was reading that web page. i found out that no matter how faint the line is, the fact that there is a double line means you're pregnant. now there are a few ways to have a false positive. one is a chemical pregnancy. one is an evap line, but those are usually grey and mine was pink. and another way is if you have taken certain meds or triggers during the month it can mess with your chemicals and create a false positive. i didn't take any triggers this month. so again i was reassured. i told myself i wouldn't retest until saturday, today, because if it was negative i didn't want to cry all day and i didn't want to take another evening test because it could just give me another faint line. so i chose to wait it out. all week little signs kept peering their little heads and i thought "this could be it" and "maybe we finally did it". friday morning i woke up puffy from my neck to my knees. my boobs were huge, porno sized boobs. again still no sign of my period. i went to work thinking "this could really be it". then at 3:00 i got it. i wanted to break down and cry for hours but i was at work. i just kept my mouth shut and didn't talk to anyone. really i was thinking "i knew it was too good to be true. why am i shocked that it's really here? how can i be surprised when deep down inside i didn't yet believe it?" but no matter. i held out strong for an entire hour. then i had to talk. it was all overwith. one tear. then the floodgates opened. it was here and i was accepting that that meant that a baby was still NOT on our horizon. i cried for the next hour, having to explain to my new boss that i had gotten a positive test on tuesday night but my period had come and my tears had nothing to do with work. i'm devastated today. i don't know how to pick myself up and dust myself off and plan forward for yet another month. i am truly ready to put this idea to rest for good. i just don't have the emotional strength to do this month after month after month. the holidays are coming which brings out all of the "baby's first christmas" decorations and the first anniversary of what would have been the birth of our first baby. this used to just suck from christmas to mother's day. now it sucks from halloween to my birthday. which leaves me 3 1/2 months out of the year to not be so affected by it all. so that's what's going on.

what a tease

last night the boyf' and his parents came over for dinner. it was so fun. it's fun to have company on a school night. anyhow. buster discovered tatum's plastic keys. i think she played with them about a month ago. that was, until, buster discovered them. it is rather ridiculous. she chased him down for the keys and then ran in the opposite direction. when he'd catch up to her she'd give him the bootie bump in the face. i usually just let them duke it out and they figure out the kinks but she kept doing this number where as soon as he got them, she'd steal them back, he would chase her and the bootie bump would be thrown about, again. finally buster had enough, he stood across the room with all 4 feet firmly planted on the ground and let out a howl as if to tattle "she took my keys and won't give them back!!!" what a couple of kids. it was so funny but i did have to finally take the keys completely away because they could not come to any sort of agreement. when we go to buster's house they do the same thing with bones. jeesh. kids.

no more silver lining

well....i don't have much to post today. today frankly, i've been down. i just can't do the roller coaster anymore waiting in anticipation wondering if maybe this month took. and frankly, all of the TTC (trying to conceive) has taken all the fun, joy, suspense and excitement right out of it and it's just no longer fun or the way i wanted any of it to happen so i just don't have anymore energy to pour into this "journey" as they call it. i look back at pictures of family weddings or christmas's and see how many of these occassions we've been waiting for our ticket to come up and it's just not happening. i don't want to hear how we should adopt because everyone who adopts gets pregnant right away. i don't want to hear how we should stop trying because we will be "relaxed" enough to conceive. i don't want to hear how god has a plan for us. i'm tired of the pep talks and what is meant to be encouragement that just frankly is not encouraging in any way. so that's me in a nutshell. aren't i a ray of sunshine?

final draft

ok-here it is. i put some suction cup thingies on the bottom of her tentacles and some eyes on it to make it look a little more realistic. so what do you think now? is she officially an octopus? and i walked her around the building to make sure she'd walk in it and she gets more comfortable in it the longer she has it on.



Ok-gotta run. Paul just called up here and said she's chasing her tentacles.

hmm...i don't know that this worked

ok-any guesses now? i'm not sure that this worked. she didn't like the thing on her head so i had to move it back and i can't tell if you can tell what she is. any creative ideas how to make it look MORE like....well...first I'll let you guess and then I'll clarify if no one gets it so i can work on it to make it look better. i'm stumped.

the feeling is mutual

so this morning i called josie to see if we could take buster on a play date to the dog park. they wrestled ALL the way there. the car was thrown into nuetral twice by hyper dog butts. they played so hard and long they wore out 3 other dogs. the only 3 other dogs willing to brave the 40 degree sprinkles we got this morning. then it was time to go so i first took tatum and wiped her down with towels (yes, it was futile). but as soon as buster realized he had been separated from tatum he howled like a romeo and juliet saga. i kept reassuring him i'd be right back for him, we were not leaving him behind. he didn't care in the LEAST that i would be back. the fact was, he was separated from tatum and he wanted NOTHING to do with that idea. and he howled and barked until i got him wiped off too (again, futile) and got them back in the car together. ??? crazy in love dogs!!! they were so caked with mud i had to give buster a bath before i took him home. josie is making cakes for a funeral today and i didn't have the heart to dump a mud bucket beagle on her. and i must say buster is WAY better in the tub than our little princess.

trick or treat

guess what tatum is going to be for halloween. it's not quite done yet, but i have a vision. i'll give you a hint. it's not a lavander gangstah. I know it looks like a hoodie but it's not going to be in the end. Any guesses?

not a baby sister

well. things here aren't so good. tonight i got an email from the rescue that said "we want you to understand, corney is not a doggie day care dog and not a dog park dog. he will try and fight a strange dog that comes at him on a leash."
ummm...ok-where's the "not aggressive" part of that statement? this will not work for tatum. she is a very much in your face dog even if your face is 6 feet off the ground. i also checked around, yes, i know, i think it was my express personnel days coming out. i called the local rescue and asked them what they know about this rescue and she said "run as fast and far as you can." could you clarify that? "she sues anyone and everyone." i went on to tell her what i knew about Corney and she said "do you know what alpha male means? aggressive." ummmmmmm.....hmmmm. i also told her that we want children in the next couple years and i keep telling this rescue because i'm looking to them for guidance on this. and i've told 3 people at this rescue and not a single one has brought up that that could raise some issues down the road. she said "you need to think about why you want a 2nd dog if you are looking to have kids. and if you came to me and told me that, i wouldn't give you a dog." This is the kind of information i needed. although it was VERY tough to hear it was the truth and that's what i was seeking out. and it made me realize how many questions and unanswered questions i have. so with tears in my eyes i wrote an email to the rescue. i haven't sent it yet. maybe tomorrow i'll have more settled feeling. but in the meantime, i'm just broken hearted and want so bad to find a home for our boy.

My Wrong List

Ok, I haven't written about this because, let's face it, I hate to think I made a mistake. And I'm not sure "mistake" is the word I want to use but here's the background.
I could not keep working for my DC office. There were LOTS of wonderful things about that job. But. My heart could not take the roller coaster of working with some of the people I had to work with. I think about "what if I had not taken this job? what if i was still there?" ok-I know the answer, I would be on prozac. I don't want to be on prozac. So, in that sense, no, I did not make a mistake. On the other hand, my new boss, whom I will just call M'Lady, because it's nicer than "the diva", tells me everyday something I have done wrong. My heart hurts every day. So I've thought through the best way for me to deal with this. It's cynicism. Healthy, no. More fun than crying, yes. Here's my plan. Every day I will write my "things I've done wrong" in the box to the right. See it there? My Wrong List? Yes. Just look there, it will be updated daily. Sometimes twice, yes, finally a reason to check numerous times a day. I know you were trying to find ways to waste more time on the internet. So there you go. Unlimited entertainment.
Oh-and because yesterdays was so good and I hadn't thought of my battle plan yet, I'll write what I should have written yesterday:
Today I wrote an email to some clients and finished it off with "if that would make it easier for you let me know and I can arrange that." I got a phone call and then a 15 minute speech on how I should have said "if you would like that it would be my pleasure."

A Bond

Tatum's boyfriend Buster has been on vacation the last 10 days. Well, Buster wasn't on vacation, he was kenneled. His mom and dad were technically the one's on vacation. I thought they were gone until Wednesday, I don't know why I thought that. But Sunday night Dave called wondering if we could help them hook their new digital camera up to the TV to see their pictures. We called them back but got voicemail and didn't want to disturb them since they, I'm SURE, just wanted to relax at home.
Well, last night I ran into Josie at the grocery store and we chit chatted, and I asked her if they'd like to come over for dinner this week and to call me and tell me what night would be good.
After I got home I took Tatum for a walk. We, of course, wandered past Buster's house, but this time something different happened. Something that hasn't happened in the last 10 days. Buster was there and he barked. It almost seemed like he was barking out to Tatum but I thought I was making that up.
Then we went back home. I told Tatum we weren't going to play last night because they were resting after a long trip. She then spent the rest of the night pacing, puking, pooing and trying to get us to take her outside. I kept falling for it thinking "she must really be sick!" Finally I took her out and let her take the lead. Again...we pulled our ways all the way back to Buster's window, and again I told her we were not going to play. We pulled in opposite directions until I finally got her home where she continued to spend the rest of the night pacing and looking at the door like "if only". Finally at bed time I realized she wasn't sick or needing to go out...she wanted to go see Buster so bad she gave herself an upset stomach. It wasn't until we were heading to bed that she finally gave up her vigil and settled down. Is that crazy or what?

told you!

Yesterday afternoon we took Tatum to the 29th street mall down in Boulder to socialize her and walk her around people. We still got some "oh look how cute!" comments but we also got two, repeat TWO, "is she a poodle?" comments. I politely smiled and said "No, she's a Wheaten with a bad haircut." UGH! I told my boss, she has 2 cocker spaniels and this weekend got another rescue cocker/something mix. She's going to give me the name of her groomer. I need someone that understands what a WHEATEN is supposed to look like. Darn poodle head haircut, don't know what they were thinking!

Momma I'm NAKED!!

Tatum got groomed today. I told them we've been having trouble with her legs matting up since she gets her feet wet so much and they said they could shave her legs down a bit. They THOUGHT they would be able to fade it in, but would still have to cut some of her back fur off otherwise she would look like a cotton ball on toothpicks...unfortunately when they went to "fade" the fur it ended up much like my bangs in the 3rd grade. I kept trying and trying to get a straight line until I stood back and looked and realized I had cut my bangs so short I couldn't even get the scissors any closer to my head. Ya....she came home like this:


I know it will grow out BUT I asked them to keep her bangs long, it's really called their "veil" for wheaten's, and look. These were my exact words, "Last time she came in her bangs got cut like a brick wall, flat. I want the top of her bangs to stay long." Now, I understand, or can at least force myself to reason with the excuse of "we couldn't get her hair to fade with out cutting her back fur." But I cannot reason out why they cut the top of her head like a poodle. I guess we won't be getting the "she's the cutest dog I've ever seen!" comments at the dog park next weekend. AND all of this and they didn't send her home with a bandana. that's her favorite part of getting groomed. I said this last time, and I am saying it again, this may be the last time we go to that groomer. From the back you can see her raison. (It's just under her tail if you catch my drift.) And although I love everything about her, I don't know that I want her raison to show for all the world.

Anyhow, on news about our Giligan boy...I'm on the rescue email list and tonight I came home to find this email in my box! This must mean we passed everything else. Now unless we give them bad vibes it looks like we'll have a new addition soon!
AAAAAAHHH!!! And I just realized that now when you go here you can see a little red box on his picture that says "HP" with means "Home Check in Progress"!!!!

S'Wheat Rescues is in need of a homecheck in the
following area:

city: Longmont
state: Colorado
country: usa
zip: 80501

If you can help, please email directly to
cheryl@wheatenterri errescue. org
What is a homecheck?

Basically it just consists of calling the potential
adopter to setup and appointment and then going by and
meeting them and giving me your gut reaction. The
potential adopters have already been interviewed by a
coordinator by phone and had their references screened
prior to the homecheck being scheduled. The homecheck
is the final step in being approved to adopt a dog. I
generally ask people to tell me if they would be
willing to leave their dog if they were going on
vacation.

If the yard is fenced it needs to be checked to make
sure the fence is secure, gates latch, no gaps a dog
can get through, etc. The only "rule" is that everyone
who lives in the home, including household pets, must
be there for the homecheck.

There are no forms to fill out or checklists to go
by - you simply email me your opinion after you are
done and that is all there is to it!

softy

last night i got ready to go to bed and found this already on my bed.

hmmmm...when, exactly, did she become an up-on-the-bed dog? Paul pretended he didn't know she was there but i think that was just an act. he's also been letting her up on the leather couches under the ruse of "well, only when we're on here and invited her."

But, good news on our boy. Last night we were paying the bills and got a phone call from "Magnolia Pump". I said "I'm not getting that, it's a telemarketing call." and we went back to paying the bills. The answering machine picked up and we heard "This is Becky from Wheaten Rescue, we got your application for Corney..." our eyes got big as saucers and I whipped the phone out of the cradle to catch her. We got to talk to her for almost 45 minutes. She said "I'm so excited to see an application for Corney. He's the rescue that we've had the longest and you are the only application that has come in for him." !!!???!!! WHAT !!!???!!! I asked why she thinks that might be and the only reason she can think is that he was dyed pink. I said "that's what we loved about him!" We went on to talk and she said "now he's an alpha male, is your female submissive?" and I told her "yes, this is one of our concerns, we don't want to take him on if he's so dominant that it will crush her spirit. She was the timid puppy of the pack and we have worked really hard from the day we brought her home to socialize her with people, kids, dogs and don't want another dog to come in and push her down." she said "I have a timid puppy of the pack too and she flourished when we got the alpha. It just gives them someone to follow and guide them. Corney is alpha but he is in no way aggressive." Ok-good to know-that was my biggest fear. We went on to talk about food and vets and grooming and all of that we have under control from having Tatum. So, our next step is to have our references checked. They will be doing that the next couple days. Then they will put in a request for a home check and that could take up to a month. They just have to wait for a volunteer to be willing to come to our home and interview me, Paul and Tatum. I asked what they are looking for in a home check. She said "We just want to be sure that you guys are going to provide a dog friendly home and that you aren't the type of people that would chain him up to a tree out front and leave him there." Oh boy-do they have a surprise waiting for them when they find out what a PRINCESS we have created in Tatum. I think all of that sounds promising. Of course, no hopes can be too far up until after we pass the home check and then we have 2 weeks to pick up our new baby boy from Kansas City, MO.
We kept asking Tatum if she wanted a baby brother and now we've changed the question to "would you like to be a baby sister." She just looks at us like "I'm not sure what that is going to entail so let's discuss."

Corney

We have applied to rescue a Wheaten. His name is Cornelius but they call him Corney. We would probably call him Giligan if we could ever get him to change his name yet again.












When they found him he had been dyed pink and they don't know why.












I think he would make a GREAT brother for Tatum. We'll see. He's been on the rescue page for a month or so. Keep your fingers crossed.
Here's the link to read more about him and see more pictures. There's another dog on his page that is whiter and smaller...i'm not sure who that is but he's the bigger one.