more things to think about

tonight was full of information. here's some of what we learned.
there are currently 500,000 children in foster care in the united states alone. 126,000 of those children are legally free, which means, either their parents relinquished their parental rights, or the courts did it for them. 92% of the children in foster care have had some kind of abuse. (to keep this PG, i'll let you think about that.) just for understanding, children NOT in foster care have these statistics: girls abused 1 in 3 or 4 (about 28%); boys abused 1 in 4 or 5 (about 22%).
every year 126,000 children age out of the foster care system with no one to care for them and no where to go. of those 126,000 30% end up homeless while only 2% get their college degree. the math on that is 37,800 end up homeless while 2,520 finish college. eye opening isn't it? to adopt a baby from china we are looking at $20,000 to $30,000 and about a 3 year process. are you ready for the numbers on foster children? it is going to cost us $139 to adopt (no, i'm not forgetting any zero's) and it will take us anywhere from 3-6 months to get certified. does this mean we'll be bringing babies home left and right in the spring? no. this means that our home will be open and available to any child that is pulled out of their home. i know the next question: what kind of child is that? any child that is in a home is the kind of child that could be taken out. it could be a baby, it could be 17, it could have broken bones, it could be burned, it could have been sexually abused, physically abused, neglected, left to fend for themselves and siblings, it could be a single child, it could be 1 of 5 children, it could be the oldest child, it could be the 3rd in line, it could be all 5 children, it could be a sweet child, it could be a problem child. it could be a child that is like your neighbor, the kid at the park, a kid you just saw at the store throwing a fit, the degenerate you saw key a car in the parking lot. if it's under 18, it could go in foster care. BUT - just because they go into foster care doesn't mean we get them. we will go through a home study that will help us evaluate what we are truly willing and qualified to care for. i don't think we are old enough, wise enough or seasoned enough to take care of the degenerate that just keyed the car in the parking lot. but it will help us take a step back and say "ok yes, we like babies, but maybe we'd be better with 3-5 year olds." we think we want a 7-10 year old boy, but maybe we'd be better with a 6 year old girl. we don't really know. again, we are just knocking on every door to see which one opens. the other fact in this game...the process will take about 12 months for the courts to decide that the child would be better off available for adoption than with their birth parents. it is also the duty of the court to keep the biological family as intact as they possibly can. what this means is, while we are working to bond and educate and love this child, their parents are working to get them back. they will see a judge at 3 months, 6 months, 9 months and 12 months. in that time the judge could say "well, you took 10 steps back, but OH LOOKY THERE! you did take 1 step forward. let's give you another 3 months and see how you do." if at any point in the process the parent is able to provide the MINIMUM STANDARD to care for the child, the child goes back. the minimum standard is: food, shelter, clothing and education. it is not halloween costumes, saturday morning pancakes and a stocking full of their favorite candies every christmas morning. regardless of the fact that we would be able to better provide for the child, fact is, we would be the bottom of the list after ALL KINSHIP was established unsuitable. by the way, our county has won awards for establishing kinship. that means, and is not limited to, finding fathers, that may not know they are fathers; finding grandparents states away; locating a long lost aunt or uncle, or cousin or sibling. all of these people have precident over us in the pecking order of who can adopt this child. so we are going through the process. it will be an emotional roller coaster and there will be many times that i am posting with tears in my eyes and beating my head against the wall that we even tried. but in the end, it won't cost me a penny. just a few days of my time for training and a few nights of filling out endless paperwork. but if that will make the difference in the life of one child, it will all be worth it to us.