Friday, March 27, 2009

snow bunny

well. our little miss knows when she is supposed to get to go to daycare. today, however, was a snow day, much to her dismay. mrs. doolittle called this morning and left us a couple messages before we heard the phone. the answering machine is now down in the basement so the closest phone is on the main floor and we sleep on the second floor. i told tatum it was a snow day and that daycare had been canceled. she never did give me a look of understanding. she did however give me a scowl when daddy and i left for work. this morning i made an egg casserole to take to m'lady's house. i know she'll have lots of mouths to feed over the next few days so i made it last night and left her a message that i was bringing the casserole and some chocolate-chocolate chunk cookies for her house. when i got the mrs. doolittle messages i also got a message from her choking back sobs. i feel so bad for her. no matter how old your dad gets he's still your daddy when he dies. she told me it really meant alot to her that i had done that and that i didn't have to but it was so appreciated. it made me feel even better for doing it than i already felt. since my car was snowed in at work paul took me on his way to work. so we dropped off the casserole and cookies and i went to work. my car had melted (pretty much) out by lunch and i came home to check on tootamunga only to find sophia bee's quilt thrown on the floor and my favorite plant from florida on the carpet with the roots chewed off. little booger. she knows when it's daycare day and she knows she was "forgotten". they say that dogs don't have vengeance. i do not agree. i put sophia's quilt back in my quilt basket and stuck the plants back in the dirt. although i am not holding out much hope for resuscitation. time will tell. tonight when we came home from work i took tatum over to the field and tried to play ball even though there was still a good foot of snow. she tried to play but instead of bouncing and rolling, the ball just plopped into the snow. i threw the ball ONE last time and she bounced and pounced and dug to china right where the ball landed. now i have to wait for the snow to melt to have any chance of finding it. little booger. she had a full blown junie b. jones day. if you've never read a junie b. jones book, regardless of your age, you need to. i used to borrow them from my niece adea and read them in one night laughing the whole way through. maybe i can relate too much or maybe she's like every other 5 year old you've ever met but she and tatum are much too alike. here's a picture of my junie b. jones after our walk this morning. our walks when there is snow on the ground are 90% sniffing the snow and 10% business.

Thursday, March 26, 2009


I have been wanting a snow day ALL winter. And finally we got it! After I went to work. HA! They kept telling us this last week "tomorrow's the day-we're gonna get a foot of snow tomorrow" and then I wake up and NOTHING. No snow. Last night when they said it I didn't even hope. Until we woke up and sure enough there was about 3 or 4 inches on the ground. Woohoo! Wasn't a foot, but it covered most of the new spring grass. I got up, took Tatum running because she loves the snow. Went to work and then bam it came down! And came down and came down and came down. Finally at 11:30 we realized we all needed to start heading home. Paul came up from work to pick me up in the pick up because my little civic couldn't make it back home. It took him 2 hours to get the 15 miles up to get me.
We came home and I made some cookies and I have some left over chili from the other day that I can heat up for dinner. Here are some pictures.
This is the look Tatum gave me AFTER her 2 mile romp in the snow when she realized the snowballs were sticking to her legs.

Here is a picture of our front porch and Paul scooping out the snow. I LoVe SnOw!!!!

Daddy's so wonderful. He picks the snowballs out of Tatum's legs so she can sit down again.

In other news M'Lady's dad passed away last night. I feel like a real big meanie now after getting into it with her on Monday and then this. Jeesh. What a jerk I turned out to be. But she has been MUCH nicer to me ever since AND she's been available by phone to me. Which is hUgE. And I realized that I was wearing the same exact outfit when I got into the big to-do with the son. Maybe that outfit makes my inner super-hero come out. I may have to watch out when I wear that turtleneck.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

am i a heel? today m'lady's dad was put in hospice AND he's not doing well. he is 95, and he has been minutes from hospice since i've been around, but still, i feel like a heel big time. paul says i shouldn't feel bad because the "talk" had to happen but man i feel bad.

Monday, March 23, 2009

this close (i'm holding up my fingers in a pinchy position only a HAIR apart)

i got into it with m'lady this morning. it's as close to getting fired as i've ever come and i wasn't letting down. and she wouldn't fire me and i wouldn't quit because we both know the repercussions of unemployment. and i'm not quitting because of the principle of the matter now. i told her i was sorry not everything could be my fault as much as i'd like it to be. and that i was worn out. and it was an hour and a half talk. and in the end she decided we'll give this 30 days and see if we can work out our "systems" and if not i can tell her to take this job and shove it with no hard feelings. so, like i said, that's the closest to getting fired as i've ever come and for some reason, i'm ok with it.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Saturday, March 21, 2009

birthday weekend

last night we went down to paul's parents to celebrate his birthday. it was so much fun. and i FINALLY got to give him his present. Here's the progression of his birthday. this is him in the morning when he was on his way to work...tatum always sits closer to paul:
then after work we all went out to his parents to grill out and we all ate dinner with birthday hats on:

and then the elastic got to tom's blood supply and he got goofy:

the kids said tom's head looked like an ice cream cone:

then he got his present:

this is the look on his face shortly after he saw his jacket:

then he tried it on...still with his birthday hat on:

and after i took the picture we realized that the back was reflective.
then we had birthday cake...dawn got one with reeses peanut butter cups in it. mmmm:

then today we all went for a hike at garden of the gods. that of course was my favorite part of the whole weekend. i LOVE hiking:

that is pike's peak behind us to the right. the mountain to the left is cameron's knob. it's not bigger than pike's peak, it was just closer. so don't be fooled. pike's peak IS still the biggest mountain in colorado.
then we bee-lined it back up to church so i could do my first week of helping in children's church. i am helping with the 2nd to 4th graders and i, of course, sat next to the naughtiest boy in all of children's church. he could not be controlled by anyone. afterwards i said to the other leaders "ok, so since this was my first week, please tell me that kid was not 'normal' for children's church." they said he was not. he was also the biggest 4th grader i've ever seen. and by that i mean, i think he was a little closer to 6th grade than he was to 4th grade. then we went out to dinner with linda and denny, the couple that gave us all their granddaughter's old toys. it was so much fun but by the time we got home tatum was glad to get out of the car. *whew* what a weekend. and it's only half over. woooohooo!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Paul's 32!!

Today is Paul's birthday. Happy Birthday Paul!!!! That's why I've had the "Happy Birthday" background I've been sporting all week. Isn't he the cutest little birthday boy you've ever seen?!
It's also Brock & Liz's anniversary! Happy 5 years Brock & Liz!

Loco Moco

tonight our new social worker came by to tell us what to expect next. she's really cool. we had met her before for the training that we've had. and best of all: she brought this little guy. his name is moco, which means booger in spanish. he is so cute. especially when she says "sit" and he sits like it's a race. oh-and he's blind. so when they go up and down she has to tell him first "up" "down" and he feels his way around. ohmygosh so cute.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

drink until your irish

that was my favorite t-shirt last night. we got home and had dinner and then felt like doing something. so we went over to our local brewery for a quick st. patty's day celebration. it was so fun. it's little places like that that make me love longmont. they had some irish guys singing at the top of their lungs. and then they had people who had been there drinking since 4:00 also singing at the top of their lungs. i'm pretty sure the 2nd set of people weren't paid. tatum went with us. she's irish-she should get to celebrate. but she had to wait in the car. sorry the picture is so was taken from my cell phone.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

digging part time hours

i am LOVING working at 10:00 am. i have an hour before i have to start getting ready and i've already been up, running, wrapped paul's present, cleaned up some clutter and now i'm going to go wii hula-hoop again. i'm determined to get rid of my intertube. it looks like i'm always on my way to the pool and i can't stand it. aaaahhh....this is wonderful.

Monday, March 16, 2009

sleepy must-keep-active dog

when we got tatum we worried that we wouldn't be able to keep up with her energy. our weekends began revolving around making sure she got enough exercise and enough errand trips. however, we soon realized either we are more active than we thought, or wheaten's don't take quite as much exercise as they warned us. saturday paul took tatum to the dog park while i went birthday/fabric shopping. he said she was a wild woman. ran from one end to the other. jumped over picnic tables in a single bound. jumped over other park goers in a single bound. danced in the water bowl (i could go with out that little trick). so when she came home, she was EXHAUSTED. didn't even ask to go out for the rest of the day. but it was a beautiful weekend out and i wanted to enjoy it. so sunday we went down to boulder and went hiking up mt sanitas. we were told it was an off-leash area but only if your dog has been certified in the county as a see & sight dog, which means they stay RIGHT next to you and obey your commands no matter what playful dog is coming or going their way. tatum is not quite there but we're getting closer. we climbed up, and i mean UP. it was straight up. but her cute little fanny was jumping up those rocks 5 at a time. rocks as big as she was. and her fluffy little self just climbed and climbed like a slinky going backwards on speed. so when we got home and had bath #2 for the weekend...she crashed. and didn't move again. she'd prefer to stay right here for the rest of the week: doesn't it look like she's saying "please tell me it's monday and you guys are going back to work!"

and speaking of monday and going back to work, this morning begins my first week of reduced hours. i couldn't be more excited. i now work from 10-5:30 with an hour lunch. i will only work 32 hours a week instead of 40. ahhh....i'm going to do some laundry, the dishes, wii hula-hoop, watch some tv, maybe quilt, then on to work. i am loving it!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

binding kitties

i found the fabric i was looking for to do the binding on sophia bee's quilt. i went up to loveland, which turns out to have QUITE a bit more shopping than little ole' longmont. i was talking on my cell to missy and i had found some cute black fabric with cherries, but it just wasn't quite right. and then i said "oh here's some cute fabric with rainbow kitties on it!" i was thinking-darn-adea would love this and missy said "well they are kitty people." i hadn't thought of it! but then when i looked i realized all the colors in the kitty faces were the same colors as what's in the it is. cute huh?

oh melt my heart

so this morning i walked past the kids room and noticed that tatum's bamboo, one of her FAVORITE toys, was laying next to the baby boy doll. this is THE sweetest thing i think she's ever done. she knows now that she is not allowed to play with the baby boy, so she has resolved to playing with him by giving him her toys instead of making him her toy. is she precious or what?

last few days

so i've been trying to take it day by day by day with m'lady in order to get closer to being debt free. it's working. but there's still moments. but the last 3 days we made it through with no head butting, so that's good.
and lately god has really been proving to me that he will provide for things that i need/want even with out having to tell him. so we've been playing this little game, me and god. it goes like this. i think of something that would be kinda nice to have but don't do anything to get it and then somehow i get it with in the week. first it was the all the toys from my co-worker/friend. and then this week i thought "man, i wish i had one of those desk calendars that you flip the day every day. but man-where would you get one of those in MARCH? i loved the quilting one i had a few years ago." no lie. and then i got the mail the other day and there was this fat little chunky package from Sara Peters! Ya know, Erica (Peters) Mongelli's mom. i opened it up and thought-how did God KNOW that?! it's really kinda weirding me out. i'm starting to believe him.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

the call

we got the first call tonight. actually. it was this afternoon. at 2:37 pm (mountain time) in case you felt the earth shake. it was a little scary. our home study worker called. she was giggling when she called. she's really REALLY funny. she giggles and you can't tell WHAT she's thinking behind that mischievous giggle. so she goes "it's Kathryn. are you nervous?!" I said "well, yes...should I be?" and she giggled "No. Congratulations, you passed." Whew. Then we exchanged a few pleasantries that I can't really remember because my ears were ringing. But basically we have our social worker, who is Erin. We've already met her and she's super super cool. So she will call us next and tell us what the next step is. It should be that we will now go to monthly meetings because she has too many families to go to everyone's houses. Then we will get respite care phone calls. (respite care is glorified babysitting.) I said "So what age are we approved for?" "0-7...buuuut I can't remember what they decided on the older sibling. I think it's 0-7 and they'll keep it in mind that you're open to that. They debated what to do on that and I can't remember what they decided." see, I told you she was funny. So she didn't call back so that means we are approved for 0-7 and we will get our official certification in the mail soon.
I'm a little nervous. I'm excited. I'm glad they didn't approve us for 0-17 or something crazy. I think I can handle 7. I think. But she did tell me she wants me to still do older kids in respite care. So when they call I need to tell them that we need some older kids. We'll see how that all works out. Pray for us. It's kinda scary to spell it all out.

In other news...I put the border on Sophia Bee's quilt. And I chose a back. It will be black. I know what you're thinking "black? for a baby quilt?" I emailed my sister-in-law and asked "morbid or striking?" and she said you can never go wrong with black. I toyed around with reds, and a watermelon color and some yellows, but they just didn't do it for me. So, black it is. And I'm going to look for some cute black fabric for the binding but for whatever reason all the fabric designers right now have decided black only matches white. why not little cherry blossoms, or flowers? so I've got some time. I have to quilt the whole thing before the binding goes on anyway. oh-and here's a picture of it with the border on it.

Sophia Beeeeee

So Jenn let me show her a picture so DAN IF YOU'RE READING DON'T LOOK!

Scroll down (so I can hide it from Dan)

Keep going...that wasn't far enough.

Just about...

Ok. Here's what I have so far on Sophia's quilt. Click on the picture to get a bigger view and you can see the actual fabrics.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Big Time

She made the big time. I am proud to announce that Tatum is Dog of the Month at Mrs. Doolittle's Doggie Daycare. Here's the official announcement. You HAVE to click there and see how cute she is.

Monday, March 9, 2009

spring fever

every spring we start getting our version of spring fever. which is what happens when we want to quit our jobs and go hike another long hike. it's really hard to ignore the draw. but this year we get to follow one of our fellow hikers who is doing her 2nd hike this year. she's 17. she was 9 when she started her first hike. and yes. she completed it. with her parents and little brother who was 7 at the time. isn't that crazy? i'm so proud of her though. she'll make it. i have all confidence in her. her trail name is cascade. if you'd like to follow her journal it will be in my list of favorites but you can also click here to get there faster.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

the big regret

well. i have to accept defeat. i realize now that taking the job with m'lady was a huge mistake. one that cannot be undone. i can't go back. i have to believe that it was just a matter of time before i would have been laid off from my other job. paul has a months worth of vacation time to take and he's only been at his company for a year. i have maybe 1 day if i beg just right. i know that tomorrow i have to go back to work to a job that i will surely not do right and then i will have to hear of how idiotic my mistakes are because i wasn't forward thinking enough, or i didn't consider how the client would feel, or i wasn't detail oriented enough, or i didn't understand enough, or i didn't say it EXACTLY as it was scripted for me, or a number of other things that i will surely not have done right. it's exhausting. and i'm now fully convinced that i am an idiot. i am a lazy, no good, idiot that has somehow just pulled the wool over everyone else's eyes for the last 7 years of my career. or at least, this is what i've been lead to believe in the last 7 months. i feel like i've been working hard to learn and stretch and grow my career and take on every project or direction or promotion, whether it's up or just over, so that i can advance my knowledge of the industry. and somehow, without even being aware, i took a step into the deep abyss of the unknown only to fall down a tunnel of dispair. i feel like i will never recover. professionally, or personally. i don't know what to do at this point of my life. look for something else full time, only to quit later this summer with the placement of foster kids. or stick it out and have more and more of my soul ripped out and stomped to pieces. i don't know if i should get completely out of this industry, or if i should find something back in title. i don't know what to do. i can feel the depression overtaking me. it consumes every moment of me whether at work or home. i have complained about other jobs before. i know it. it's a fault of mine. the ever-pessimistic employee. but this time it's different. it's shredded every bit of self-esteem i had in myself. i don't know which is more important. be able to pay the bills, or be able to look at myself in the mirror and have any kind of self worth left. i know her issues are hers alone, but she has been able to suck me in to her sad little self absorbed world to the point that i cannot find my way out. *sigh* and it's sunday night. i have but 12 hours left of freedom before i have to start another week all over again.

i caved

so yesterday i caved in. i started quilt number 14. this one will be for my neice in michigan, sophia bee. it's waaaay late but better late than never i guess. i can't post pictures because they want to be surprised but i can tell you that it's call dancing sugar plum fairies. i couldn't resist since she was born in december (of 2007....ya...way late.) i'll post pictures soon but i have to finish it and ship it before i can. or just tell dan not to look at this post.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Toys and Stuff and my finished quilt

Ok so I've told you about all the cool toys and stuff. Here's the boy bunk bed with the new crayon pillow that matches PERFECTLY the quilt I've been making since September. Isn't it crazy how well it matches?
And here's the desk WITH toys on it...ready to go for kids.

And the cradle full of stuffed animals, Tatum just realized today that they were all individual toys that she should be able to play with.
And here's the Barbie Oven that talks...with a bucket full of dishes in there...
And best of all in Tatum's mind is the baby that talks. I put him on the bottom bunk because he's more special than the other toys.
This morning I was getting ready and could hear someone squealing or screeching, couldn't quite figure out what it was...until I walked out into the hallway and noticed the boy baby was missing from the bed. I ran downstairs to salvage what was left of what i was sure Tatum had torn to bits and he was laying in front of the tv, in one piece, with his hat across the room. Clearly he had been shaken like crazy. And Tatum walked away from him like "well, look who I found...what EVER is he doing down here?!" Little booger.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

tatum needs a baby too

tonight i showed tatum the baby that giggles and says i love you. then i took it up stairs and put its clean clothes back on it. the phone rang and i ran downstairs to grab the phone and went back upstairs. i thought she was following behind me. but when i went into my room to talk, she went into the kids room and grabbed the baby off the bed and took it back downstairs. i came back out and called down to paul "did she bring the baby down there?" he told me she brought it down and started playing with it but when it talked it spooked her and she let it go. now we can't get her to leave that baby alone. she's just sure that baby is for her. along with the cradle full of stuffed animals.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

in an effort to update

ok-i'm going to try to keep you posted day-by-day instead of week-by-week. i know i've been slacking lately and it's pathetic really. my days are getting so busy that by the end of the week when i have time i've forgotten most of what i was going to say.
so today i trimmed off the edges of my quilt and started putting the binding on. it looks awesome. and i love it with the raggedy ann and andy sheets that are on that bed, however, paul has informed me those sheets aren't very "boyish". so we'll see how long those sheets last. i keep telling myself "after this quilt i'm taking a break". and then i find yet another pattern i'm just dying to put together. do you think i could put quilt tops together and sell them to people who want to do the quilting? i like the quilting part but not as much as the piecing together part. i can throw a quilt together in a weekend, usually. this quilt took me a whole week. so i told myself "no more!" and then i found some super cute patterns i'm DYING to do for my neices that i need to make quilts for. i am not ready to give up that self-made tradition. and i found the cutest cutest patterns for each one. so...we'll see how long i can hold out and not make another quilt. because then it sits in the basket waiting to be quilted giving me guilt when i watch tv. that's when i get most of my quilting done because i'm just sitting there. other than the office there's really no show where you have to SEE the people's acting. it's all just lines. but the office, you miss one awkward camera glance and you've missed some serious plot. man i love that show. derailed-sorry. anyhow. tonight a friend from work, linda, i think she's a left over hippy. i just love her. she gets on these religious kicks and they crack me up. this year she has decided she's not celebrating holidays. i'm not quite sure i follow her logic but she's adimant about it. man-i'm a train wreck tonight...back on track-she has a storage unit full of toys she has to clean out. and i have a cleaned out house that needs toys. so wah-lah! we're helping each other out tonight and i'm gonna go empty out her toys for her. yippee!!! now foster kids will want to stay for something more than cool bunk beds! she gave us so much stuff we are beyond blessed. i am humbled, once again, by the way God chooses to provide. it's little things. i wanted a little step stool. nothing fancy or major, just a little something for brushing teeth. she had one. i was looking at some more blankets, just in case, but i'd really like a blue blanket that would match the boy bed, but gosh, i hate spending money on it. she gave me one. and it looks like a down comforter, but it's blue. and not baby blue. it's like stormy sky blue. baby block bible. puzzles with the alphebet. learning toys. alphebet flash cards. a barbie kitchen that talks. AND it not only talks, it says "for nutrition help, press one. for fitness tips, press 3....etc" and a baby doll that talks and best of all it says "i love you." something these kids might or might not have heard and have trouble with. a children's book, about the size of a golden book called "does god see me". hello!? do these kids need to know that or WHAT?! let me think what else...a cradle and so many stuffed animals i can hardly cram them all in there. a couple pairs of pants that are neutral, some girl pajamas. a bucket full of cars and boy toys, and a bucket full of dishes and girl toys. just enough baby toys that it didn't freak me out. a baby doll stroller. a baby stroller. a toddler stroller. an ecta-sketch and one of those sketch toys that has the little slide bar that clears the board. a mr. potato head. seriously-i can't even think of it all. so much stuff and things EXACTLY what i've had my eye on but just can't spend the money on because i just don't know who to prepare for.
ok-i've been bleaching toys and washing clothes and stuffed animals for 4 hours now. i gotta go to bed. thanks to all of you that have been praying for god to provide. it's working.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

And now we wait....

Ok-this was a HUGE week and I haven't had time to post and barely time to check my I'll do this day by day in seperate posts.
Tom & Hope (Paul's parents) stayed over last night because they were having WAY too much fun to go home. So I got up and made us pancakes and elk sausage and then we got to work. Paul and his dad finished gating off the water heater. Hope and I cleaned from top to bottom! It looks sooooo nice in here now. And then at 2:00 we went down to Broomfield and got a bookshelf from craigslist and came back and Paul baby-proofed the cabinets and I loaded up the new shelves. It looks SO nice down there. I may just go take some pictures to post.
So our home study was at 4:00....and it went well. We read through our home study and signed off on it. She checked over the house and all looks good and we are officailly in the wait mode. She told us there is a couple that was certified last summer and they are still waiting. I asked what takes so long? And she said "well some people just want babies." and since we are open to sibling groups it might not take so long. And we are open to an older sibling if it means they'd be split up and put in seperate homes. And by older we mean 12, not 17....we'll just have to see. We're not sure what to do we just are a couple of bleeding hearts. She did agree with us that we are not ready nor prepared for taking older teens. I told her I wouldn't have a clue if they walked in stoned and I would believe anything they told me. So I'm just not sure we can do that. But...doesn't matter. Now our file goes to certification on the 11th and then we can do our respite care 3 times...then...nothing...then we wait.


This morning I took Tatum on a walk and found Buster so we stopped to play and BONUS Josie was home AND she wasn't busy. She's always baking or babysitting or on her way to do 101 things. She's so much fun. So we got to talking about the kid thing vs the career thing and she helped me see things from a different point of view. I said "maybe I hate all of my jobs?" and she said "maybe God knew that he had to make you more misterable in order to get you to the place that you would quit working." So maybe God knew even though I didn't LIKE everything about my First American job, at least I still enjoyed working. So maybe he put me in the position that I would work where I am so that I would be miserable enough to quit working altogether. I never thought of it that way. Because I'm having a really hard time accepting that I made a mistake quitting the DC job. I know now that it was a mistake. And it's hard to swallow. It goes against my rule of "always take any opportunity that i'm offered." so....maybe she's right. Maybe this is right where God wants me.
Today we got a LOT done. Paul's parents came to pick up our guns because we don't have a closet to lock them in. They were a huge help. Paul got a little cabinet that will now hose the garage tools and can lock. It also has a plug in so you can plug tools in to it. Pretty cool. We also ran and got some last minute supplies, like trash cans with lids. Some more outlet plugs. Etc. And guess what-they have really cute plates and dishes for kids. But I don't know if I should go for girl or boy stuff. So....I wait. Ugh. And I wait and I wait and I wait. Hmph.
We had some lasagna that I made and had in the freezer since Tom and Hope were up. It was fun. Soooo fun in fact that they just couldn't go home so they spent the night. They were our guinea pigs on the futon in the basement. I offered them the bunk beds but they said they'd rather have the futon. They said they slept good though. Hope they weren't just being polite.


So tonight I came home drained because we have to go get 101 last minute supplies because our last homecheck is Sunday at 4:00. I got the mail, and got a card from "Fernside" but couldn't figure out what it greif counseling? is this from the county? then i open it up and it says "Happy Parenting to you. enjoy it and hopefully it will help you buy some things you need. We love you!" and again i'm thinking "huh, what mailing list did i get on?!" still not putting the pieces together. I walk in the door and tell paul, "i got the mail, we got this gift card but I can't figure out who it's from..." So i flip it over to see if it says anything else and it was from my college friends. i couldn't even tell paul the names on the back i was so choked up. and I just cried. We're trying to get rested up so that tomorrow we can finish our to-do list. Our home study worker comes Sunday at 4:00 to do our final home check.


Still nothing from First American...but I'm really starting to wonder if I want to be a real career person in our family or if I want to just take a backseat and not worry so much about making money. I did send them thank-you cards tonight so we'll see if that makes any difference. Although I'm still TOTALLY undecided if I want to hear from them or not. *sigh*


Nothing much happened today. Still haven't heard back from First American but I'm sure working where I am won't last much longer.


Today I had my interview with First American. It sounds like it's more title than escrow, and although I've done both, I really like the escrow part. I interviewed with two people. One was the woman I'd work with. She was cool. She was from San Francisco and had all this fun bright colored jewelry and then an all grey pants suit. She was cute. Then I met with her boss and he was very cut to the chase. He asked me about the commute from Longmont because it would be an hour and a half one way in traffic. So I'm not sure if that's going to be a realistic option. The woman told me they are looking to move the office farther north, to downtown, which would not be a bad commute at ALL if we lived in Westminster. But the guy said that it won't be until the business picks up so that could be a few months or a couple years--depends on the market. So we'll see. Not sure what to think....I guess really I'm hoping they don't want to hire me for a little while so my life can settle down and I can figure out if I can take it and what direction I want to go...geographically and career/family wise.


i, uh, had a little snaffoo at the doctors office this morning. my physical doctor found a polyp so she said it was beyond her realm and i needed to go to the gyno. so i went in this morning at 9:00 and he looked and found 3 or 4. so he just removed them! i said "is it gonna hurt?" and he said "you'll have some cramping, but it won't hurt." so i said to the nurse "he doesn't have a cervix-is he lying?" and she just kinda chuckled but didn't answer. so he goes to work and removed them and it hurt like a mother! then when he finished i was feeling kinda sick and said "can i have some water." so they got me some water and let me just lay there for a while. and i started feeling REALLY sick. then everything started ringing and i was just thinking "no, not here! there's no one around!" and i couldn't reach the button to tell them i needed someone because i was afraid if i got off the table i was going to pass out on the floor. sooooo...i laid back. then woke up to a puke volcano erupting from my gagging throat. i seriously thought i was gonna die. they came back in and i'm sitting there naked from the waist down with stuff all over my shirt and i had to use the clothe they gave me to cover up with to clean up - still couldn't reach the button but the doctor came in and the look of bewilderment that came over his face said it all. i said "i threw up....i passed and i woke up puking." he was soooo sorry. he's never had that reaction ever from a patient but he said it's possible. it's called a vagal reaction-when your cervix is touched it can make you pass out and/or puke. for me-it's both. he said "so...can you feel your papsmears?" and i said yes-i honestly never knew people don't! so i had to lay there for another hour before i got color back into my face. so i called work, because i was expecting to be back after 45 minutes and this was 2 hours later, and told them i have to go home. things didn't turn out quite the way they were supposed to. but i couldn't explain in detail because it's all guys!