say what?

i just got word from the kids' case worker that the mom and dad are so appreciative of what we are doing for the girls with the food and everything. they couldn't say nicer things, i was told. say what? bio parents love the foster parents? thank you god! now if we can just get them to come to church? alterior motives of the christian foster mom.

cleaning ladies for 60 cents

now that the girls are on a points system and now that they have gotten the pleasures of spending THEIR own money this weekend they are pretty motivated to earn more points throughout the week. today it was time to learn how to clean the house. older HATES the smell of bleach and cleaners that are super cleany smelling so she chose to vacuum while i cleaned the toilets and tubs. younger wiped down the sinks and counters, windexed the glass top tables and then begged to dust. she lost her wii privileges today because she didn't obey yesterday so she was bored beyond BELIEF today. it was a very good learning lesson. and cleaning gave her something to do. it was great. the house looks incredible. i gave each of them 3 points.
earlier this afternoon we went all through town doing the weeks grocery shopping. some ingredients we can't get at the plain old store so we have to add another store to our shopping excursions. they did very well at the store because now that they have their own money to spend they don't need quite so much. so i bought them straws for being so good. best 40 cent "treat" i've gotten ever. then i came home, made vegan chocolate ice cream and then the ice cream freezer wouldn't work. so we took a QUICK trip to walmart only to find out that's a seasonal item so we then ran to ace hardware and finally found one. it's NOT bad actually. but i'm ready to get another week under our belts. we did all of the homework we had today so hopefully this next week won't be full of random homework surprises.

Ace!

this week younger had a spelling test. so we practiced the words ALL week long and yesterday when i went to pick them up she had a certificate from her teacher. she ACED it. 100%!!! Every word RIGHT! i asked how many kids got a certificate and she said her and 1 other kid. so we went to wahoo's to celebrate. thank GOD for restaraunts that we can make vegan (since we have the fish exemption)!!
then we came home and got a package from brock & liz that was full of candies and GIFT CARDS to target. the girls are THRILLED. they have no concept of money whatsoever but they are thrilled to have their very own gift cards. and then.....we opened a box that had come to the school. i had picked it up over lunch and called to make sure we could open it. we could and did and it was full of cards from their old school. their old journal books from homework. some slippers. all kinds of stuff. and then they cried and cried thinking about all of their friends that they miss. it was tough. because they all sent their addresses and emails and we can't send anything back. we're going to make cards to give to our friend at the county to see if she could get them back up there. it was tough on both sides-tough on the girls and tough on the friends they had to leave behind. pray for that to get easier and for them to make friends here so that they don't feel so forgotten.

glimmer

tonight was a little better. i had more patience anyway. this morning started pretty rocky but it got better. i'm going to bed now. pooped.

i talk too much

so tonight after dinner we tried to take a walk but tatum was ridiculously naughty. so we couldn't get very far. i had to practically put her in a headlock to get her to quit pulling on the leash and we finally gave up and came home after about 5 minutes. i was SO mad. i put her in her crate when we got home and left her there until i cooled down. what in the world? and to make matters worse she is licking her paw pads off. today i put away all of her old toys and gave her 5 new toys and that's it. i was hoping she was bored. it helped for the most part. but then after dinner and after our ridiculous attempt at a walk, we came back inside and she started at it again. i'm so mad. i spend half of my night telling her "leave it" or "stop licking" or "tatum NO!" ugh! i'm about to go to the store and get that stuff that you put on kids fingers to make them stop sucking their fingers!!!!!

worst cake EVER

a few years ago when we had NO money I tried to make Paul a birthday cake from scratch. it tasted like flour with a side of flour. awful thing. i vowed to never do that again. but this weekend i got a vegan cookbook from another foster mom and it had a chocolate cake recipe. not too bad of ingredients. i acutally had all of them in the cupboards. so after the girls went to bed i decided to make them a surprise and bake them a chocolate cake for tomorrow night. i worked my way through it and 30 minutes later pulled it out. it actually looked and smelled good. i thought, well i'll just take this teeny tiny bite from the side. awful. as awful as the first made-from-scratch cake i made a few years back for paul's birthday. sooooo...tomorrow i will make some vegan icing to go with the vegan cake and see if i can make it taste ANY more edible.

rulez of the house

today we sat down and made up our rules. yes, we were told to have these posted BEFORE we got kids. but we were also told we'd have respite care first and that didn't happen either. we then sat the girls down and talked about the rules and what is expected of them and clarified the "not fair" stuff is stopping as of yesterday. wooohoooo! thank GOD that monkey is off our back. i know what you're thinking "boy she sure is dooped into thinking that was easy." well, no, in fact it wasn't. BUT the ingenious idea of rewarding the good behavior IS easy. so now we earn points and at the end of the day we total up our points and for every 10 points we get a dollar that we can spend on lip smackers, (which, if you haven't been informed is THE best chapstick this side of the sun), cd's, special shoes etc. we will provide them with everything they need like clothes, food, shampoos. and then they can buy anything extra they want with the dollars they earn with their points. making the bed, 1 point; setting the table, another point; picking up after yourself, one more point; GOOD ATTITUDE, 2 POINTS! oh ya, bam! that last one was a divine inspiration from the lord god almighty himself. today we earned 4 points on good attitude ALONE! the girls are THRILLED to have a way to EARN the special things they want and we are THRILLED to be able to say "i have a feeling you are about to earn 2 whole points with that attitude!" i am LOVING IT!!!!!
and we bumped into some family friends at the resale shop today. it was SO neat to meet people from real life. it was good for the girls too. we were getting in the car and they pulled up and the girls said "i think that's so-and-so!" and i said "would you like to go say hello?" and they both ran to check out their car and sure enough it was their friends. so we said hello and i could tell they didn't know the situation and finally he said "so are you their social worker?" and i said "no, i'm their foster mom." and i could tell that everything fell into place for him at that moment. i could tell that the couple really loved the girls and i got their names so we can give it to the county and see if we can have more contact with them. the girls talked about it for the rest of the afternoon. and best of all, when we went to leave, he lunged towards me to hug me and told the girls to mind me and paul. so i know they could tell that we were loving on the girls for the good of the girls. it was just really neat to get a glimpse into their "real lives" for a few minutes. and i just have to think, as nice as it was for me to see a glimpse of normal for them, what a sigh of relief it must have been for them to also get that glimpse of normal for just a few minutes today.
and we have grandpa's phone number so we get to call him every night at bedtime to say goodnight.
and one more thing...i made vegan empenadas today and they were a hit. they would be even MORE of a hit if i didn't have to use that awful whole wheat flour but we're getting there. maybe the next batch we can put more white flour in there. let me know if anyone wants the recipe.

battle of the wills

i'm having a really hard time figuring out what the spending habits are, exactly, that the girls are used to. they seem to want/need everything that comes across their minds and when we say no it becomes a huge battle of pouty faces, angry undertones and then crying, followed by finishing our trip to any store with hundreds of "gosh i wish i could have that.....sure would be nice to have that....tomorrow i'm gonna wish really bad that i had that.....i really need that." and my answer to all of those are "it's not on our list of the items we came here and NEED." yesterday it was high heeled boots. i want them to be happy and have what they want but we are dealing with a NEED level right now. we NEED sweaters. We do not NEED high heeled boots. yesterday it rained, thus the need for high heeled boots. we went to walmart and target, the only stores in our budget right now. neither of which carried high heeled boots for children. this of course sent us into a downward spiral to which i realized it's time for the girls to hear, accept and embrace the word "no". i told them i'm afraid i've made them greedy already this week so we are not going to be shopping for a while. we need (and that's a real need) 2 pairs of pants and 2 sweaters for one of them. that's it. and that we will look for at the resale shop. we have gone out and bought about 5 pairs of shoes since they've been here and were informed last night that all of them are "stupid". that was the last straw. we went home more determined than ever to NOT get anymore shoes. i think they are buying because they feel the need to accumulate right now whether they like the item or not. so. until we can sort out the root of this further...we're going to just go cold turkey. *sigh* i would ask "is it gonna get easier?" but i already know the answer is "no".

Rookie!

The girls are just simply excelling by leaps and bounds and we've only had them a week. I could not be prouder of them and I tell them every minute of the day how wonderful they are and what big plans God has for their lives. It's amazing. We are going to take Saturday pictures because they came to us last Friday and we took pictures on Saturday and then we'll take them every week to show them how healthy they are getting. They are soooo great! They have a little brother who is with a couple that adopted 2 foster kids last year and she told me today she's going to nominate us for Rookie Foster Parents of the Year. Yesterday she said she couldn't believe how they RAN to the car after their visit last night. *ah* I was beaming when she told me that.

first day of school

today was the first day. pray that there will be friends and nice people and that they will be able to just blend in and be "normal" kids.

**Edited to say**
I just got a call from the kids. The olders first day was GREAT. She made 6 friends and can't WAIT to go back tomorrow. The youngers first day was TERRIBLE. She only made 2 friends and everybody wanted to sit with her at lunch! So we got some attitudes to work on but I think by the end of next week things will be a little more smooth sailing.

m'lady

is being a major bitch.

more on plopping us on our faces

well today i went to register the girls for school but found out it takes 48 hours after turning in the paperwork. so....i called paul. he figured out he can work one afternoon and one morning and i can work the opposite. so i called m'lady to find out and she asked (in a totally inconvenienced voice) if this was going to happen every time because with me doing 2 desks and everything that really puts everybody out and her husband's brother-in-law died this week so they are going to have to go down to that funeral on thursday and my co-workers are really put out by all of this. i told her i didn't know. it's all new for me too. so i might be let go. if you could pray for that and for peace of mind for me i could really use it. i hate to inconvenience m'lady. it must be so hard to know that i'm off taking care of a couple kids that had the most traumatic thing that will ever happen to them in their lives happen just 72 hours ago. must really put her out having to deal with all my baggage.

typical?

well today was another great day. we went to church and had some really insecure moments. church is a very foreign place but our church opened with aerosmith so hopefully their parents won't have too many issues with a church that has that for an opener. however, tonight i've already started to wonder if i turned our lives upside down and landed us on our heads. it's nothing the girls did at all. i just look at tatum and think "is she ok? does she feel like i forgot her or replaced her?" but really all i see is one exhuasted dog. she's laying between me and paul on the couch asleep as i type. at 4:30 i realized it was 4:30. at 6:00 i realized i still needed to go to the store for the weeks groceries. we needed to have bathtime and pick out our outfits for tomorrow. we needed to finish a photo album for their brother that we will get to see tomorrow for the first time since placement. both girls needed dinner, as did we. that means 2 orders, one vegan, one not. i'm going to make empenadas this week but i need 3 kinds...one with meat for us, one with no tomatos for our older buddy, one with no corn for our younger buddy. not only are we vegans, we are picky eaters. eek. tonight though i found a hit with rice warmed up with rice milk cold and cinamon on top. whew. we have been having a bowl of bedtime cereal and i'm not going to say no to food right now. not until i can figure out what is hunger and what is stalling. so far we've made it into bed on time 2 out of 3 nights. all is well that ends well right?

whoa nelly

this morning was a very different morning. we got up. took tatum to daycare. went and got donuts and sat at the donut shop to eat them. came home and both worked on our computers. then i went to work. paul was off because of good friday. and paul called me as soon as i got there. "you know the call we've been waiting for?" and i'm thinking "quest? comcast? american family?" and he goes "ya know-the respite care should have come first?" and it hit me. "they got kids?!" so we have 2 girls staying with us for a while. they are super great kids. very helpful. we'll have some bumpy roads, i know. but tonight was great and they are really just like any other kids. i already feel like i've known them forever. it's kinda weird. but they are vegans. so if anyone out there knows some good recipes i'm more than open. i don't think i've ever even tasted tofu more than once and now i gotta figure out how to manuver it into meals on a regular basis. eek!

delivery confirmation

well...i embroidered sophia's name on the quilt

and packaged it up


and took it to the post office and said "this is a quilt made from fabrics from the 70's from our grandmother that cannot be replaced...what's the best way to send it." we could send it priority mail for nothing shy of my right arm, or we could send it with delivery confirmation and it will get there Monday or Tuesday and we can track it as it goes. We chose the 2nd option for just $9. I realized why this quilt is so hard for me to let go of. Normally I hand deliver my quilts so I get to see the baby's reaction to them and this time I don't get to do that. So it makes it a little extra hard to part with. But now we can click here and cut and paste this number [03080730000008517343] and we can see where it is. Right now it says there's no record but I just dropped it off 10 minutes ago.

As promised...

Here are pictures of Tracy Sophia Bee's quilt. Although I'm waiting for Dan to get back to me to make sure that's how you spell Tracy. After that I'll embroider: "For Tracy Sophia Bee Angelo With Love Aunt Cheri'" I do that on all the quilts.

As promised...

Here are pictures of Tracie Sophia Bee's quilt. Although I'm waiting for Dan to get back to me to make sure that's how you spell Tracie. After that I'll embroider: "For Tracie Sophia Bee Angelo With Love Aunt Cheri'" I started doing that on all the quilts.

this is what i did on the border...they are supposed to be bees but half way through realized that i didn't put stingers on their butts soooo...i guess that makes them the nicest of all bumble bees.

busy hands

sorry i haven't posted. my hands have been busy. i finished sophia's quilt this week. tonight actually. i'll post pictures soon.
we got our first foster kid. sort of. his name is tommy dean and he's 50-something years old. oh, and he's paul's dad. he has a friend that needed some help at his body shop here in boulder for the next few weeks. since it's 74 miles from his house and roughly 14 from ours we figured it might be better if he just stays up here during the week. tonight was his first night here. tatum has already traded us in for him. she knows how to finnagle her way into the hearts of many. tonight instead of bringing us the ball she would lay it between his ankles and then sit there stalking. jeesh. we can't break her of that. it's quite disturbing if you are the one being watched. i kept telling him he was our first foster kid so he's gotta let us know if he doesn't know where things are and stuff.
tonight we met a woman who has been doing kinship foster for the last couple years and needs a break. and since we need respite, it all works out well. we might watch the girls for her this weekend for a few hours. she was really nice though so hopefully we can help her out and make her feel comfortable. that's about all i can say about that though.
on the work front, i have to say m'lady has been a lot easier to deal with and way more communicative with me. that helps more than i ever knew. so we'll see how long it lasts but so far it's been ok. and i'm so thankful for that.

keeping tabs

so today is a sad day. i dont' know why. ok. i do know why.
i came in to work and there's this picture of a little girl holding a baby and it says "john kokenzie has another grandchild" and i tried to make chit-chat with the receptionist as if it doesn't bother me that we now have running tickers posted on the office walls of how many grandkids everyone has. and she goes "ya, and he'll have another on thursday..so that will make 8. and so-and-so has 10!" and i realized. it's not just my generation that counts kids. once you get older-it's grandkids. so this feeling will never stop. i'll always feel like i'm just a notch below because i don't have kids and will never have any grandkids. it just makes me sad. it's supposed to be a normal woman function. it's the only function that sets us apart from men. *sigh* ok-i'm crying now so i gotta stop.