the MAGIC of it all!

sorry i haven't posted lately. been dealing with some heavy birth family stuff and was waiting for the silver lining to appear. maybe i'll post later.

BUT today is christmas and that means SANTA....and jesus. it's true. we're christians and that's the #1 reason but when you've waited and waited to have little people to celebrate with it's SO exciting to smother them in gifts. all season long when karyssa would ask for something i would tell her we'd have to tell santa. and when it was finally time to go see santa to tell him her greatest desire was a cinderella castle she said "i'm gonna ask santa for TWO cinderella castle's!!!" i quickly nipped that in the bud and said "we don't want santa to think we're being greedy, so we need to just ask him for one." last night we gave them their pajamas and when she opened her hello kitty pajamas i said "how did santa know? you told him you wanted a cinderella castle but you never said anything about hello kitty!?!" and she said with christmas magic oozing from every pore "he just KNOWS these things." oh my gawd she is so funny!! tonight at dinner she said "let's go to bed again so santa will come again!" again...nipped it in the bud and told her she was going to have to wait 365 days for him to come again.

asher got a paint pad from uncle brock and aunt liz and today when karyssa went to touch it he started screaming "MINE! MINE! MINE!" he also ran laps around the house with his new wheel-barrel full of stocking stuffer toys. after dinner he took off his pajamas and said "potty!" and ran into the bathroom and went a full potty on the potty and then ran out of the bathroom to tell grandma and grandpa who were on the phone. he was SO proud of himself he leaned into the speaker phone and shouted "POTTY!" ugh! i love that little boy and his achievements. he then ran around the house like a naked banchee and i've got to say he really does have the cutest cheeks ever. i think it's the way the front of his thighs stick out so far you can see them from behind. and then get distracted by the sweet cheeks. mmmmm....have i mentioned how much i love these kids?

both kids got strider bikes and wow karyssa is good on it. she can already pull her feet up and glide. asher will sit on it and push himself along so i'm sure it's just a matter of time before he's cruising on it. good thing because i lay awake at night excited about them riding their strider bikes along the trails as i run along with them. UGH! can't wait to get running regularly again. ps-it's my turn to run a marathon next year and i can't WAIT!

aaaaaaaaanyhow...that's all i can remember for today. so glad to finally have little people to smother with christmas magic.

it's all my mother's fault.

well, i did it. in case anyone is wondering and you live in the state of colorado elevations credit union has my full endorsement. bellco...could use a little work. and maybe a few more processors or a few less marketers. it took bellco a week and still couldn't do what elevations could do in a day.
that being said, i am now the proud new owner of the volvo and i have to say......i'm LOVING it.
i did cry. and it's all my mother's fault. when we were little she personified EVERYTHING. i have to say she did raise 4 very empathetic children so she must not have gone wrong but seriously have i mentioned i can't even buy a christmas tree?
for real.
we have a fake christmas tree because year after year paul and i would go to the christmas tree lot only for me to leave in tears because of all the trees "that gave their lives to be picked and we weren't chosing it." it is nuts. i am aware. but when we were little my parents would take all 4 of us kids to the christmas tree lots and we would wander around whispering which tree we liked never mentioning the ones we didn't then we'd all climb back in the car choking back tears as my mom talked for all the other trees we didn't pick. she did this to lots of inanimate objects or animals. sometimes she'd get us rolling with laughter talking as if she were a cat. or get us just on the verge of tears talking as if she were a tree, or a park bench, or anything that she thought needed personifying. it is this reason that i had a hard time tonight. but i made out like a champ until we drove away, and i looked over to take one more look at my car and blew it a kiss and broke down into tears.
oh good god. i'm crying right now.
it was such a great car and like i said, i found myself in that car. it held a lot of memories...and even a couple secrets. this afternoon when i was cleaning it out i found a couple tokens from our little clepto foster daughter. oh how i miss her laugh. and the time i was making vegan ice cream for the above daughter and her sister and as soon as i got the tofu ingredients in the ice cream maker it went capoot. into the honda we went to ace to get the ONLY ice cream maker in town. that night it RAINED and RAINED. the next morning, late as usual, me and the 2 girls hopped in the car then hopped OUT of the car screaming "why are my pants wet?!?" we looked up and i realized in my haste to get the ice cream made before the ingredients went bad i had left the sunroof open. and then the most special memory of all: picking karyssa up from the hospital in that car. wrangling the car seat into that car with the case worker, neither one of us having a clue how to install a baby seat, in 95 degree weather in july. *sigh* (asher was brought home by the case worker.)
after i looked over and blew the honda a kiss i cried and cried. but then the light turned green and i took off in my new car that rides like a cloud! my little white cloud!! it's gonna be amazing!! and like my friend juju says "we're gonna make new memories in our cars."
ooo-and i might add my new mother's day bracelet shines beautifully in that car.

the dang camera keeps focusing on my dang freckles! it says karyssa and has her birthstone, then asher and his birthstone, then me, then paul. the stones look BEAUTIFUL together.