Sunday, April 19, 2009
battle of the wills
i'm having a really hard time figuring out what the spending habits are, exactly, that the girls are used to. they seem to want/need everything that comes across their minds and when we say no it becomes a huge battle of pouty faces, angry undertones and then crying, followed by finishing our trip to any store with hundreds of "gosh i wish i could have that.....sure would be nice to have that....tomorrow i'm gonna wish really bad that i had that.....i really need that." and my answer to all of those are "it's not on our list of the items we came here and NEED." yesterday it was high heeled boots. i want them to be happy and have what they want but we are dealing with a NEED level right now. we NEED sweaters. We do not NEED high heeled boots. yesterday it rained, thus the need for high heeled boots. we went to walmart and target, the only stores in our budget right now. neither of which carried high heeled boots for children. this of course sent us into a downward spiral to which i realized it's time for the girls to hear, accept and embrace the word "no". i told them i'm afraid i've made them greedy already this week so we are not going to be shopping for a while. we need (and that's a real need) 2 pairs of pants and 2 sweaters for one of them. that's it. and that we will look for at the resale shop. we have gone out and bought about 5 pairs of shoes since they've been here and were informed last night that all of them are "stupid". that was the last straw. we went home more determined than ever to NOT get anymore shoes. i think they are buying because they feel the need to accumulate right now whether they like the item or not. so. until we can sort out the root of this further...we're going to just go cold turkey. *sigh* i would ask "is it gonna get easier?" but i already know the answer is "no".
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5 comments:
I'm sure that is hard, but you are doing the right thing. Our girls aren't to that age yet, but I'm sure they'll be there soon enough. Sounds like you are making the right decision.
You're doing great! I'm so proud of you! Trust me, Faith has to hear "no" a LOT, and while it's hard to disappoint her, I know it's my job to teach her what to value in this life, and high-heeled boots is not on that list! Hugs and prayers are coming your way. I love you, and I'm so grateful for those girls that they have you and Paul in their lives!
You guys are doing a great job! And I suspect things will get easier. Once they learn that your love and care is not tied to material things, I think it will become less of an issue. Set firm boundaries in this area and then what you do buy them will be really special. :) I think you are doing GREAT!
No one ever said parenting was easy and believe me, it isn't. You're doing great and impacting these girls lives FOREVER! tHEY WON'T ALWAYS agree with your decisions, but they will ALWAYS know you've helped them thru the hardest time of their lives! Proud of you!!!
Keep up the hard work - it will be worth it! We have a 5 year old and 8 year old - both get the "buy me's" often. Sometimes we have made the mistake of buying too much. The sad thing is that they forget about the "thing" so quickly! It's so much more appreciated when they have to save up for something - that thing is much more special! You guys are doing great! Keep your heads high and know that you are doing good for them! You are giving them what they need the most - a ton of love! :)
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