questions

ok. the adoption process has brought up quite a few questions and rightfully so. here are some answers to some of the questions that have risen so far:
>are you going to quit trying for your own? no, we won't quit trying but we are hoping it won't prevent us from adopting one of the hundreds of foster children that are hoping for their forever family.
>if you got pregnant would you stop the process of adopting? no. our hearts are broken now for these kids. we won't give up on them.
>did the doctor tell you you can't have kids? no. we would have to go through the entire process of fertility drugs before they'd give up on us. that includes, and is not limited to in vitro fertilization. that is tens of thousands of dollars and we just don't feel that we want to spend tens of thousands on a child with our genes when there are this many orphans around the world. it is not their fault they are orphans, nor is it their fault that they don't have our genes. they were born through our heart, not through our womb and we are ok with that.
>do you think there's anything wrong with in vitro (IVF)? absolutely not. we have a godchild born through in vitro and i would not her up for the world. i don't think there is anything wrong with ivf. it's just not a route we want to take. there are lots of hormone injections and medications that i just don't want to put my body through. you think i'm exaggerating? ask the guys i work with how well i react to clomid and they will tell you i should NOT take stronger fertility drugs.
>have you ever known an adopted person? um. you must not know my family. we have adoption going back for generations. with out adoption i would not have a single cousin on my mom's side. so yes. i am very familiar with people who have been adopted and i hope my family can coach me through it and help me not make the big dumb mistakes. so-family-here's my call for help. let me know any advice you have.
>are you sure you want to adopt? yes. i'm sure at this point it would be a sin to leave these kids where they are.
>i thought you said you'd never adopt a foster child from the us and you'd prefer a foreign orphan? yes. i said that. i found out on saturday that i'm an idiot. turns out every child, no matter what resources are available or not available to them, need the love of a family.
>what if you get a kid who ________? guess what....even if i give birth to the child doesn't guaranty me a free ride to a perfect family.
>are you expecting this kid to come in and fill a "hole" for you? no. i'm hoping to fill a "hole" for the child. yes, i want kids. yes, it has left a hole in me. but i also know that there is no give and take with kids. it's all give. and i'm ok and ready for that.
>how long does it take? 3 years for a chinese baby girl. about 1 - 2 years for other nationalities depending on age and country of origin. if we adopt through foster, not that we are doing this because it's faster, it's really not, the woman on saturday said if we did everything absolutely perfect right now today we would be lucky to have them home by the beginning of next school year.
>why don't you adopt a baby? we're open to adopting babies. we're a little aimless right now but for now we just have to try every door until one of them opens.

there are a lot more questions that i haven't been asked and i'm not offended. i know this is puzzling and scary process for most people. we feel a call from god to adopt. i think had we been listening he's been calling us for longer than a year and a half. i am suspecting he gave us the miscarriage so that we would realize the desire that we have for children. by giving us a taste of starting a family. now we have gone through the infertility stage so that paul would agree to get me a dog. i needed something to mother. now i KNOW adopting a dog is nowhere close to the same as adopting a child. but it has helped me see that i can love something (and let me tell you i'm ridiculous with that dog) that i did not give birth to.
where is all of this going? i have no clue. keep watching the blog and maybe we can figure it out.