step

well. we signed up anyway. on the 22nd there is an adoption seminar down in the springs regarding foster children in colorado waiting to be adopted. we signed up on sunday but i'm just getting the courage now to tell you. this does not mean on the 22nd we will be adopting a kid. it just means we are checking out what is going on in the foster care world. it will also be the day that my period is due so i may not be much fun if i have nothing to look towards. it also means that i will be NO fun for thanksgiving with family and i'm very sad about that. but. usually the first glimmer of hope i have every month is the positive ovulation test that i get on day 18. and i won't be anywhere NEAR close to day 18 over thanksgiving. i know, you think i don't need to jump that far ahead because maybe i'll be pregnant this month. ya. and maybe the last year and a half didn't happen either. i just don't have much hope left. one of my fertility friends said that a nun friend of hers told her to visualize herself with a baby and pray for that. i'm trying. i'm trying to visualize myself with more than one baby in hopes that the clomid will overwork and i'll get multiples. but deep down inside there's just alot of doubt. i'm rambling. i just thought i should share since this blog is all about what's going on. don't want to talk about this in person. just in case, let's review the rulz.