today was a little easier. i only cried when i had to gush over baby clothes and i did so good to gush and then walk back to my office and only tear. no sobs. and then i think my boss realized how truly hard this all is for me. she apologized and told me she had a dream that i had a baby of my own. i love hearing about that because i'm a big beleiver in dreams. i used to have recurring dreams that children, toddlers really, they could walk but never talk, and they would come up to me looking for help finding their parents. then i would spend all night looking for their parents but never found any of them. finally in one of the dreams i was walking out of a town, sort of like a mass exodus, and there was a kid and he was with a social worker and i said "i'll take him. and i'll take really good care of him." and the social worker said "no, you're not fit." and i said "no really, i know you don't know me very well, but i'll be a good mother, i really will." and he said "no, you'll never make a good mother." it was awful. and after that i never asked in my dreams if i could be a mother.
then when we were moving from florida to colorado i went forward at church to ask if they could pray for us in deciding our housing situation. i hadn't told anyone about the miscarriage because we started going to that church after the miscarriage and, you know, those things just don't come up in conversation with strangers. anyway, these two ladies started praying for me. one knew me a little better than the other and she said "and i don't know why i feel the need to pray this but..." (then she put her hand on my abdomen-ya-weird but it didn't creep me out)..."i just want to pray that your uterus be healed and that you have the quiver full of children that you want and whatever issues are going on be completely healed." and the other woman then prayed "and i just want to put a hedge of protection around your thoughts and visions." that church was really into dreams and visions. it really freaked me out because i had never told anyone about those dreams except paul. and do you know, since she prayed that i haven't had one of those dreams. i did dream after that that i had a baby of my own. only for 10 days, i'm not sure why. but it was my own. i gave birth to it and i was a mother. if even only in my dreams.
About Me
- The Boss of this page
- when my husband and i were hiking from georgia to maine in 2002 we sat on the side of the road on the PA 105 debating if we wanted to order a pizza or keep hiking on for the night. my husband looked down and saw that i was sitting in ice cream, and then i looked down and, at the same moment, we both noticed that the ice cream cone was smooshed into a pair of panty hose. we looked at the debacle, then back at each other then we both wondered in unison how in the world did those two items come together like that? this is sort of the long and the short of this blog. it's very random and yet smooshes altogether to make the debacle that is my life.
5 comments:
Hey sweets-I have tears by reading this post. I feel the same way. It'll be our turn someday. Hang in there. Call if you need to, k? Girls night out is definitely on the horizon. :) Miss ya! -Brenda
UGH!'s for you with the baby atmosphere at work. Cool that your boss had that dream (and told youabout it) and really neat that those ladies prayed over you like that.
Don't quit dreaming!
Mom
Cheri', I do NOT believe this is the end of the story for you. The fact that God gave both of those women a word of knowledge about your situation should be proof that He cares!! Hang on to that and yes, keep dreaming!!
I had a dream while we were expecting the girls that a little girl that looked like the picture of you in high heels and a hat was running around. She had dark red hair and curls and the girls look just like that . . .
We are praying. This is not over!!
Yes, someone else knows what is going on here. We continue to think and pray for you Cheri. I am SO glad that we are able to know what you are going through. I know that it is not easy, but you still have so many options for having your own child. This last round was the first attempt. Don't give up on the first try! Especially now that others have the chance to support you.
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