Friday, March 19, 2010

Soooo....court was yesterday....

and i don't know how to feel about it. there is a family member that has stepped forward for peanut but not for sweet pea. she is too far along in her case. however, it opens up a little bit of a pandora's box that i had no considered. this family member will be required to come to visits (not all of them, but probably one a week or something), and they will have to take parenting classes since they have never had any children of their own. they will also have to complete, and pass, the home study. and it's my understanding that just because all of these steps are completed doesn't mean that peanut will GO there, but i have a hunch that if all of these steps are completed that it's a pretty competent person and he'll probably go. what i had not considered when accepting this placement was that if he does go, and sweet pea stays....how will i deal with her disappointment. she is VERY bonded. they have a chemistry. she knows they are connected. and then further down the road how do i answer the questions of her staying and him going. so. i don't know. a lot of questions. but a lot of steps have to be taken and completed before i have to cross any of these bridges. last night i had a little cry about it. the thought of him going. the thought of actually handing him over and saying good-bye possibly forever. as i write this sweet pea climbed up on the couch to kiss peanut. *sigh* how will i ever get through this?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, Cheri. This IS really hard. I'm amazed that they are so willing to separate the siblings like that. I really hope they see the error of that thinking and keep him right where he is. Hugs to you and your family.