clarification on a couple things

i think i need to clarify a couple things. as i've called or emailed people about the kids' parents relinquishing rights 2 questions come up. the first is "Really?!!!" and the next one is "how could they do that?!" and i guess i should clarify. it's not that they didn't try everything in their power to get sweet pea back. remember, this has been going on since july. and they know the path they have gone down and they know it's even longer of a path for peanut. and whether they sign their rights away or not, the county is going to take them away for sweet pea anyway in the next month or so. they have come to every visit, every meeting, every court date, every treatment meeting, every support group but they just do not have the parenting skills it takes to raise a child who needs constant coaching and attention in regards to her eating and developmental needs. for people who have wanted kids for years and have been unable to fill that hole it's easy for us to pour everything in our beings into her. for people who just had her when they weren't prepared, ready or trying is a different story.

the other thing i want to clarify is that in all of our joy that they have signed and in our joy that we not only have sweet pea but we now have peanut too it's really important to remember that they are mourning the way we are rejoicing. just as it's not over for us, it's still not over for them. the toughest part is yet to come when they have to go to the judge's chambers and explain to her why they are giving up as parents. they still have to admit the failure that they are verbally. it's not just signing a form and walking away. this has been as heart wrenching for them as it is for us. so it's really important to remember that as you pray for us for peace and for patience, it's important that we all pray for peace for them in knowing that they have done the best thing they could for their kids by signing them away.

they didn't get to pick us. they didn't get to look through profiles of foster parents or potential adoptive parents. they did all they knew to do and the county swooped in, took their kids away, told them what they were doing wasn't good enough and "gave" their kids to people they don't know from adam. i say all of this to put in perspective why me and paul, by choosing to adopt their children no matter what the future holds for them or us, we are also choosing to love them and include them in our village. trust me. i did not dream of this as a child. i didn't play house with someone else's dolls. this just is not something you prep yourself for growing up or even in adulthood or even when going through infertility or even going down the road of foster-to-adopt. but all of a sudden. here we are. at this point where we have to make the decision to do for them what we would hope someone would do for us if the tables were turned. i don't know how to do this. i've not done it before just like they've not.

so please, as you pray for us, pray for them. i don't know what kind of support system they have, but i'm guessing it's nothing like the support system we have.