never gunna sleep tonight

i know everyone has told me to rest up and get ready and do all my last minute things i want to get done. but HOW!? me and paul sat here until 9:30 looking at our computers. not saying a word. just gazing into the digital glow like a vortex. we finally broke away from them and i cleaned up the house so i'm ready for morning. then i went and laid in bed for an hour. not even tossing and turning. just laying there. i've even had to start making myself lay in bed as long as sweet pea is sleeping so that i can get rest even if it's not sleep. but now tonight. now that we have a gender. we have a name. we have a BIRTHDAY. and we have custody. REALLY? i'm supposed to sleep tonight? really?! how in the world am i supposed to do that? so i'm blogging instead. and i'm looking in my baby books for all the last minute how to's that i didn't think i'd really have to get to. how to take care of an umbilical cord. how to change a boy diaper? i've heard about the pee stream problem boy babies have. how to know when black poop is ok and when black poop should turn green? these are all questions you don't have to have the answers for with an 11 year old or even a 13 month old. and all of this with the lingering thought of "don't get too excited before court." and THEN i'll still have to sit around and wait and WaIt and WAIT for the case worker to get out of court (and she has a lot of cases) and call me and tell me what happened! all while i'm at home bonding with this new little bundle that hopefully makes it home safely to our house in the morning. how in the WORLD am i supposed to sleep right now. can't i just stay awake thinking and nap tomorrow when he naps? can't i just work on sweets quilt? can't i just read my baby books? can't i just watch mind-numbing lifetime shows until the wee hours of the morning when my cell phone rings to tell me what time to go to the hospital. oh ya, but then there's those bathrooms i didn't get to over the weekend and i should probably vacuum the navy blue rug that looks like it has white speckles on it-that's really lint, dried oatmeal and crumbs. not to mention the dusting and the tile floors that really REALLY need swiffering. can you believe i'm scheduling in swiffering? it's so easy i could have it done already but instead i blog. it's my release into the world. and another good avoidance of bed.