beating a dead horse. and then beating it some more for good measure

today's one of those days. maybe i'm exhausted. or maybe reality is sinking in. or maybe i just need to accept defeat in the giving birth to a child department. yesterday was our 8th anniversary. we had a sitter lined up, 3rd time since Sweet Pea came home with us. every year for our anniversary we go out for a really REALLY nice dinner. last night was supposed to be fondue date night. i love fondue date night. we've only done it twice before and every time we feel like we have to be rolled out of the restaurant. but at 5:00 i got a call from daycare. "hi cheri? is nina. sweet pea has a fever of 101.6" "101!?" ".6" "ok. i'll be right there." i chatted paul. i called the sitter. i finished work and went to get her. she looked achy from across the room. i felt so bad for her. i brought her home and gave her dinner, she ate 2 bites and wanted to go to bed. i gave her tylenol and let her go to bed at 6pm. she didn't wake up this morning until 7:45am!!!!! almost 14 hours of straight sleep! but for some reason last night it sort of hit me. as handsome as paul is...his genes will never be carried down. my siblings all have kids and let me tell you we make beautiful babies. every single one of them. but we'll never know what our genes combined would make. it's just not gonna happen. today i took sweets to work with me because she has to be fever free for 24 hours. i know now why they don't have bring-your-toddler-to-work day. it was WORK. let me tell you. i was stressed by the time i got home tonight. not to mention i had to leave work early for acupuncture. so i came late, with a toddler and still left work early. i should be fired about 3 days ago but for whatever reason they haven't fired me yet. anyway. now i'm home. and all i can do is melt into the couch. i'm exhausted. and feel so defeated. why is it so easy for crackheads?