answers. i just want answers

you know how in every group of friends there's that friend...and if you're thinking "oh my group doesn't have a that friend", then i've got news for you...you ARE the that friend. well, somehow i've become the that friend in my circle. not my immediate friends. in my infertility friends. and if you're thinking "oh no! it's me!" it's probably not, in fact, you. there have just been so many lately and i'm beyond words excited for all of them/you. however. when we first started all this ttc (trying to conceive) business i thought, well the first one took us all of 1 try, there's nothing to it. then i got to know people. on line, or in real life. and heard their struggles and thought "dang, it sucks to be them. that'll never happen to me." then it became "gosh, i hope i'm not one of them." then it became peeing on sticks. talking to specialists. going to doctor after doctor. reading books. online postings. then finally acupuncture. and now, lastly, the realization that i have become that friend that for no other reason than the gods of fate, or god himself, hate me. i went to the RE (reproductive endocrinologist) this morning and found out some very good news. i don't have pcos. he doesn't think it's my thyroid. everything else seems to be right on target or at worst, middle of the road average. there's no ONE thing that can pinpoint WHY we haven't been able to get pregnant again. which doesn't help at all because now it just means by dumb luck, we are the 1 in 6 that can't get pregnant. and so i'm working today with tears in my eyes and hoping no one gets too close to notice that i am that friend.