bless your little heart!

today i went shopping with my christmas bonus. i'm not being selfish-our boss gives us our bonus and then takes us shopping to be sure that we spend it all on ourselves. it's really hard for me to do. REALLY hard. but today i went shopping for some much needed jeans. the last time i bought jeans was when mom and dad took me and paul shopping when we were poorer than dirt and paul was in school. today we were at the buckle and i told the girl i thought i was a size 31. i tried them on and whoa nelly. i'm not a size 31 anymore. i looked like saggie sally for sure! so i tried on the next size down, then the next! i'm a size 29! then i said "do you have them in a 29 short?" and she said "no...we don't carry the short in the smaller sizes." !!!! i'm now considered one of the smaller sizes? by the buckle? i could understand if walmart or lane bryant considered me a smaller size...but the buckle? i was shocked! i said "well, bless YOUR heart for calling me a 'smaller size'" and she chuckled and said "well you're smaller than me." !!!!! shocked again. so i guess all this no sugar business does have some perks. and maybe buying some way over priced pants will be the lucky charm to ensure i won't fit into them long because soon i'll have a pregnant belly. *sigh* maybe.
on that note-tonight i was putting sweet pea to bed and i often pray over her and i pray for her education and her development and her future and her family and for judge mclean and for all of the case workers and G.A.L.'s and casas and attorneys assigned to our case. i pray for wisdom and softened hearts and for the new baby and that some how it will find its way to our house. and that we will get to love this baby for years to come into her future and all of a sudden i got this feeling of "it's done. it's already written that she will be yours." and then i got this tiny bit of reassurance that she's not the only one. so we'll see.