what don't i get?

last night i went to bed a little sad. ok. alot sad. i don't know what i'm not getting. i don't know how so many women figure it out. am i temping wrong? am i not timing it right? is it really pcos? is it something else completely? what don't i get? how can i get it this wrong for this long? how can i not KNOW exactly what it is that keeps us from conceiving a real live take home baby? and i just feel really dumb on days like that. and yesterday, frankly, was one of them. i want to just be pregnant. with a baby that i get to name. and take home with me and not have court dates and case workers and 12 months waiting to find out if i get to "keep him/her". so i'm just sad. *sigh* sometimes i hate being honest with myself.