ok....i'm ready to "celebrate"

so i told paul that he could go on that stupid* harley ride with his friends from work. and at the time i meant it. but i didn't realize a few things. i hate this "holiday". i just do. and i thought we just wouldn't celebrate it because the kids aren't officially ours. but as the day has worn on and i've realized that everyone else that has kids in their lives is able to celebrate, i feel a little...jealous...that's not the word. i guess...left out? i don't know. anyhow. now he's all the way down in stupid new mexico, actually he just called a little bit ago from stupid larkspur. so he won't even be HOME until it's time for sweet pea to head to bed.
but then i heard the jingling tune of the ice cream truck and i have cash. i NEVER have cash. but i do today. so for my very first mother's day i got to get ice cream from the ice cream truck for the very first time with my daughter. it feels so good to call her that even though we're not quite official.

*5 minutes ago you could have replaced all "stupids" with the f-bomb. but then the ice cream truck came by.