a good cry in the courtroom lobby. yes. that was me today after court.

ugh. so today at court we had a little snafoo. it was realized that our birth parents relinquished too fast and in order for them to relinquish a treatment plan must be adopted. and since there's no treatment plan that will work for them our treatment plan is "there is no appropriate treatment plan." so now we have a new court date next week where the treatment plan of "there is no appropriate treatment plan" will be adopted and then the birth parents can relinquish in one foul swoop. they would have adopted said treatment plan today, except, in an effort to expidite the relinquishment they were instructed not to come to court. so they weren't there and it couldn't be adopted. *sigh* it's like we gotta go over here and dot this i so we can go back over there and cross that t. but basically-if they don't do it this way-then down the road it could be reviewed by a third party and discovered that they were never given the chance to work out a treatment plan in order to get peanut back and therefore appear that the birth parents were strong armed into relinquishing even though this is what they want.
afterwards the case worker, the casa and i went out into the lobby to talk over what all of this means and i burst into tears. suddenly it became so real to me what all our birth parents, particularly our birth dad, has to go through. i just don't want him to have to be asked all kinds of questions about his intentions. i want them to go easy on him. i've been told they will and if the judge isn't easy our birth dad will be protected by his attorney and the case worker. they all want this to be as nice and easy on him as possible. he's a sweet man. he tries. he loves his children. he just doesn't have the parenting skills it takes to raise one baby on his own, let alone TWO babies. i cried so hard the case worker cried. the casa reassured me that he's doing great and is happier now that the decision has been made. i left exhausted. you know how when you cry so hard for so long you just get tired? well i didn't cry so hard i was doing that gasping thing that kids do. but i cried so hard my eyes were all puffy and red and my tears wouldn't stop. i HATE when i cry that hard in front of people that don't know me.