sooooo the house saga continues. we went to look at this other house that is the EXACT same house as the one we love and want to buy. it's just the flip-flopped version of it.
it's a really nice house. she's done some nice upgrades.
and then there's other parts about it that are.....well....just not things we would do. they aren't bad things. there's a whole house radio that she had set to light jazz while we where there. and it's the old 70's kind. i have no idea how it's still working but it is. like standing in an elevator for 30-45 minutes. there are speakers ALL over the house. the front porch, the back porch, every bathroom, the hallway, her bedroom...i mean all the heck over the house. and the wood floors that she laid down are pergo-ish kind of floors. very nice. wilsonart i think the listing called them. but we are more real hardwood kind of people. the kitchen is impeccable. spotless. clean white cabinets. we like a little bit of color. and the thing is everything is very nice-no point in replacing any of it. it's gonna be perfect. for someone else. and it may still be perfect for us. the only problem is we have a harley, a pick up truck and now the volvo wagon. (say volvo in a snobby voice.) and there's a cement pad in the back corner of the yard, on the opposite side from the garage, so it's not like we could pull the harley around the garage...we'd have to pull it around the other side of the house...it just doesn't work. and it's not on a corner lot so we would lose a lot of yard. a LOT of yard. and we need that space to make the harley work since the garage is too tight.
so...going back to the first house...there are a couple different loan options, neither of which lend themselves to making the fixes and the payment reasonable enough to justify it.
and i just keep thinking i want to be excited about it. why spend all of our savings and buy a house we're not excited about? this is the only time in our lives that we are gonna have this big of a wad of cash to put towards a house. i want it to be right!!!
anyway-enough about things in life that don't matter.
the foster world is sucking mud. they say it's "in the best interest of the child" but the need a caveat of "if the budget allows."
all the decisions in boulder county are being made based on the almighty dollar. and you would be hard pressed to find a foster mom that wouldn't give up the monthly stipend, the whole whopping $300 to spend willy nilly however you need {roll eyes}, if it meant their foster child could stay with them and be safe than to go to a birth parent or family member who has no idea or abilities to care for them. i don't care how thick they sayings say blood is. the love of a foster parent is far stronger than that blood. the same blood that allowed that child to get in harms way. they cannot take a child away from birth family unless they are in danger of death. which means the people these kids are coming from have put them so far out into harms way that they could have died. it is illegal for them to take them for anything less. and yet they are the same people the county fights to put the kids back with.
the boys we had in february are being split up. i've been sick to my stomach when i think about it ever since i got the email. apparently they have different birth dads. so instead of leaving them together in the loving foster home that they have with all the stability and therapies in place that they need to be successful in life they are going to rip one boy out and leave the other boy in the foster home. unless they can find some deadbeat that's blood related and then by god they might as well rip him out of his security too. they don't even split up dogs at the humane society when they are "brothers" how can they do this to real live human children? how are they not a package deal. and i just think back when they transitioned from our house to their new foster home and how i promised, the case worker for the boys promised, the case worker for me promised that they would always stay together because they are brothers and nobody would ever split them up.
oh except for the same people that made that promise because we found your sperm donor. give me a fucking break. i'm so pissed i just want to stand up and scream but who would listen? who can i scream at? he's the biological dad-he's blood. that must make him qualified. right? nevermind the fact that he has so many other children that this will be overwhelming to even the most educated, level-headed parent.
and then there's my friend who has been watching her foster daughter for months even though she went back to her #1 birth mom over a year ago. social services decided to close the case and the other day lovebug's mom called and said she was taking her to stay with her sister for the summer. hours away where she'll have no other support, not that she has any here, but at least lovebug has somewhere to go when her mom is unable to function for months at a time.
how can it be that all of these babies are left to fend for themselves in their best interest. that's what WE are here for. that's why there ARE foster parents out there. and i get it, there are some crappy foster parents. there are some real scary people out there. but the foster parents i have met are not those people. and maybe somewhere in boulder county there is a deadbeat foster parent, but they don't come to support groups. they aren't in my circle or any of my foster-friends circles because none of us have met them. i know fostering pays good money. when i left my real estate career i bumped into a woman from my old office. and either she thought i made pennies for pay or she thinks fostering is a lucrative business but she said "and it's about the same pay right?" i was so shocked. my mind said "or an eighth of it...something like that." but i really said "oh no! fostering doesn't pay that much."
anyway-i've derailed.
all of this to say if you pray please pray for miracles for lovebug and our foster boys.
i do realize how blessed we are that we were able to go all the way through to adoption with both of our children. it brings tears to my eyes in 2 ways...one: that we are so blessed and i do not, even for a day, take that for granted. and two: for my foster friends still in the roller coaster. my thoughts are with you continually.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
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1 comment:
You are seriously one tough cookie. I could NOT handle one iota of the shit you deal with. Your rant made me mad too. I can't believe that the system will send children back to blood parents who cannot take care of them, but want to keep them out of pride or some such other weird reasoning. You cannot sufficiently care for a child-what's more, you are actually do them hard, you do not deserve to have one.
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