a little more of the scoop

well, this past month has been quite a bit more informative than months past. i have found out a few things that i can sort of put on the blog. really, i shouldn't, but i figure for those that follow* that i don't get to see in real life, you should get more of an update.

sweet pea does not get to see her mom anymore. for now. if her mom starts cooperating, she will get to visit again. at this point she's not in a place to be able to cooperate and show them that she can parent the way sweet pea needs her right now. her dad, bless is heart, is trying. he comes to visits. he brings her food. he's kind, he plays, he tries. but they are still unsure that he is going to be able to parent on his own, with out the help of his family. if his family were stepping up to help him, we'd have a different situation, but at this point they have not stepped forward the way the county needs them to step forward. they aren't getting their evaluations and home studies done and until they do that, they can't be considered as options. sweet pea has been in our care for 4 months now. at this point, that's a quarter of her life. it would be equivalent to me living with loving doting strangers for 8 1/2 years and then going back to a home where i was told they loved me, but no one ever showed me.

our first court date is coming up in early december. at that point i'll have more information. we are acting, like we do with all of our kids, that she is our own forever and ever. christmas is coming and we can't wait to shower her with gifts. we celebrated early with paul's side of the family this last weekend and i was just humbled by all the gifts and clothes and toys and books she got. last week my brother's wife and kids sent another box full of toys the kids had picked out of their own stash for sweet pea. and yet another brother sent her a gift card for whatever else falls between the cracks. she is set beyond belief. i can't believe, or thank you enough for how generous my family and friends have been in providing for us this year. and sweet pea is overwhelmed with all of the new toys and books she has all over the house.

in preparing for kids from 0-7 and spending every spare dime we had on the basic necessities to make our sterile house a kid friendly home, it didn't leave much left for the extras. we are trying to get back to square one and save up for next year for a) if sweet pea's case does not go to adoption and we can't take another foster heart break. at that point we will adopt from an agency. and b) if sweet pea's case does go to adoption, we won't get the much needed financial support from the county, including childcare, and will be facing being a one-income FAMILY. both options scare us in a way but we are trying to prepare, as best we can, now so that we have some options to fall back on.

*I do want to thank those of you that follow. sometimes it's really hard for me to talk about all of the stuff that's going on and other times i'm a gusher of information once i see you in person. thanks for always letting me know when you've been reading. it's fun to know who's really come and gone and it's fun to know that people are interested in what's going on. and an even bigger thanks to all of you that pray. i can feel your prayers and can often see god's hand in the goings on of our county and specifically our case.