getting hitched

i have had lots of people tell me they want to foster since we became foster parents. some of them really mean it. some of them have very logical reasons for why it will and will not work. some people need to reconsider their intentions. while you are technically saving the life of a child who may not have other options if the state didn't have foster parents, you have to keep in mind that the child is not going to come into your home and love everything about your good intentions. they won't like your smells. they won't like your cooking. they won't like the clothes you dress them in. they won't like your church, your kids, your extended family. there is more to it than simply signing up, getting a baby and living happily ever after.
AFTER the roller coaster of months and months of documenting reactions to visits and going to court date after court date with your heart in your throat and a lump where your heart should be you get to this magical date when you get to adopt these babies that you fell in love with months or even years ago. and then family starts to request contact. and then you realize just when you thought the roller coaster ride was over, your roller coaster is now permanently (no matter what last name you give the child) connected to their roller coaster. and it won't be for just 18 years. for.EVER. you go up, they come up with you. you go down, they go down with you. you have no choice over who they are or where they come from or where they're going. the only choice you have is how often you chose to ride that roller coaster and then with guilt you chose not to ride and you're the bad guy. i don't know if what i'm saying even makes any sense.
i guess what i'm trying to get across is that fostering is not a flippant idea. it's not something you can do lightly. it's a huge responsibility. your attitude toward the birth parents is paramount the the success of your kids at all times. whether the kids stay with you and get adopted or go "home" or get adopted by kin-every word you say about the birth family is heard by the universe.
just imagine if your child all of a sudden got ripped from your home and put in, let's just say for arguments sake, a Buddhist home. you have no say over what your kid is exposed to, you can ask the county to not let your child go to their buddhist temple. you can request that the foster parents refrain from doing whatever buddhists do to worship their god. but the fact remains that all of the underlying tones and beliefs and pictures and values all come from a buddhist standpoint. are you willing to put away your bible, not talk about your god, take down all christian pictures and bible verses and stop thinking in the christian ways you've been taught to think your entire life? then the buddhist family probably isn't either. now imagine that buddhist kid comes to your house. do you think they are going to embrace your bible, your values, your sayings, your verses, your opinions. NO WAY! they are going to be so afraid because all their lives they've been taught why buddhism is right and why all other religions fall short. everything you've taught your kid about christianity, they have taught their kid about buddhism.
now. are you still willing to open your home and your roller coaster to just anyone from your county? and then NOT judge them. and then hitch your roller coaster to theirs? it's a scary scary day when you are able to swallow all of these things and say yes. i will hitch my roller coaster to yours, not just today and tomorrow but forever and with my opinions to myself and all of the love in my heart for these kids, i will remember that first and foremost, before they were mine, they were theirs.