2 going on 17...and other bits of news

i took the kids swimming today. it's the 4th time we've gone swimming since i got asher his floatie suit. they both have one. they look ridiculous in them, like i'm terrified of the water. but really it's because they both go full speed ahead in opposite directions. karyssa is FEARLESS in the water. she does summersaults in the tub and i'm not exaggerating. so when i go by myself i put both of them in their little floatie suits. the first time i couldn't take my hands off asher. he just rolled around in the water bobbing with no particular end up. the next time he got that there was a method to the madness. then last week he realized he can keep his head above water and he figured out how to stand up once he fell onto his belly. today he swam. he SWAM for crying out loud. how in the world does a 15 month old figure that out?? i still have to plug my nose (although i don't let the kids see me do it because i don't want them to be cursed with that.) but i let go and he waved his little arms and he kicked his little legs and he GOT to where he was trying to go! if it's straight ahead of him. if it's to the side he tips himself over that way and then floop right onto his back. so we got some work to do but i'm so excited he swam today! i'm determined to take them every week so they will be comfortable in the water.

then i put them in babysitting and worked out myself. i accidentally got on a machine today that looked like an eliptical machine-my favorite-but it worked more like a stairmaster. it was sort of like i ran bleachers for 30 minutes. whoa. won't be doing those again until i'm ready for a butt blaster. last week i made the mistake of swimming only and boy that did not go over well with miss thang. each week i get a little better at this whole process. i got them out of the pool, gave them showers, lotioned them up, gave them snacks (that was my brilliant new idea this week) then took them to babysitting and they both did great! when i went to pick them up the woman that runs the babysitting said "wow she's quite a big girl huh?" and i was like "oh ya, she's going on 17. i'm scared." she said that karyssa was trying to play with the older girls, they were maybe 4 or 5, but they didn't want to play with her because she doesn't talk so they thought she was a baby. and she's tiny too so it's not like size helps her anti-baby appearance. *sigh* gotta work on that speech therapy stuff. not that i want her to be a big girl, but i don't want her to be shunned by other kids because "she's a baby". my poor baby. oops-wait...i mean, my poor big girl. and then we came home and she insisted on making her own PBJ for lunch and she did it! she needed help with the peanut butter but she did the rest herself. i was a little shocked. she's 2 for pete's sake!!

i love those little biscuits. they are my best friends.

oo-and side note-this is kinda random-i came home and my mother's day present was on the front step. although i have been instructed NOT to open it until paul gets home. this is gonna be a long afternoon!!!

this little girl of mine...

she makes me LAUGH and shocks me every day. which is saying a lot since i'm not often shocked.
last week, all in one day, i caught her sitting in her flower pot (it's full of sand) with her pants down acting like she was peeing. and then had to tell her to stop "puking" rocks into the chimnea. she was putting rocks in her mouth and then leaning into the chimnea with a hearty "BWUH!!!" upchuck noise. my neighbors must think i'm the biggest alcie this side of jersey shore.
other things we have to constantly be reminded: no pyting (typing) on the computer. don't hug brother so rough. don't eat the sand. go put on undies. only use the chalk on the sidewalk...not the house. and more i just can't think of right now.
she's also become so girly i don't even know what i'm gonna do. she's loving wearing piggy tails. i let her pick 1 or 2. and pajamas-forget footie pajamas. sooooo out. nightgowns are in and clearly the only choice. and i used to open her pants drawer and just let her pick a pair...now i have to clarify if it's going to be a dress day or pants day before i even bother rooting through the drawer for the perfect pair of pants. *sigh* LOvE this baby girl!
every time we look through the newspaper or drive through neighborhoods now it's "house.....yard!" because we've been prepping her that we're going to buy her a house with a yard this summer.
and don't even get me started on picking out a pair of shoes. every day we have to clarify WHICH pair of crocs. our light pink ones, or our light up ones. now we have our prima ballerina shoes from miss nancy. the kids' CASA. when the case ended she came to me in tears asking if she could please keep in touch with the kids and boy has she been a godsend at times. SO CUTE! and miss nancy has a husband who has been named by karyssa as "POP!" never just "pop". always with an exclamation point at the end and in all caps "POP!" and believe me POP! loves it as much as karyssa does. POP! it turns out, likes to garden and let karyssa help him in the dirt. so for a week after staying at their house while asher was getting his scope study all i heard about was "POP!...dirt."
i could go on and on but i have a list of to-do's as long as my arm.
more later about how much i love my boy!!

the latest

we have an adoption date! the beginning of next month! which means we have an adoption party! the very next day! my mom and dad are coming to town. paul's parents are taking off work. paul gets the very next week off. and we're gonna have a staycation. can. not. WAIT! for all of the above! so you KNOW i'll be posting pics asap after the adoptions are finalized.
i'm so relieved. i really needed some form of permanency after the last couple weeks shenanigans with our birth family. still not sure what to do there but a good fost/adopt friend said to just get through the adoption and then deal with that. and she's right. first things first. once they are mine i'll have a clearer vision of what we want the future to look like. *sigh*

in other news: i combined the kids' rooms. i put peanut in sweet pea's room in the pack-n-play for a couple nights and he did great. then i committed and put his crib in there. naptime was a disaster but i was sure the novelty would wear off and he would settle in. unfortunately that's exactly what happened. he settled in and just started to moan and groan in there instead of in our room. monday night was the last straw when out of the moans we heard sweet pea scream his birth name...not his adoptive name. i've figured out that's turning into his "trouble name". sooooo he's back in with us. worst. roommate. EVER!!! but it's hard enough to be 2 with out being a sleep deprived 2. i'd rather me be tired and grumpy than her. poor baby. can't WAIT for that 3rd room next spring! come on house!

my friends are getting annoyed.

you know that facebook friend that talks about the same thing so incessantly you can hardly stand to see their updates so you end up clicking that "hide" button on them? i'm becoming that friend. i know i am. i talk about the kids and the adoption so much i'm annoying people, i just know it! but i can't help it! i got the freaking cutest kids on the planet and every day it's something new. this weekend it was that peanut has given his thumb a hickey from sucking on it so much. he sucks on that right thumb like nobody's business. when he's hungry, he's sucking. when he's getting sleepy, he's sucking. when we're feeding him, he's sucking...literally...i have one hand spooning food in his mouth and the other hand holding his right hand so he can't suck his thumb! when he's moaning at 3am, yep, you guessed it...he's sucking! the poor thing is gonna have a blood blister before long.
today it's that i've finally started thinking about our adoption party. i went to michael's to get idea's for the invitations/announcements. i just ordered 65 prints of my favorite recent picture of the kids. i can't wait now. now all i need is the date to drop into the invites for our party and we're good to go. that and i need my friend lisa to continue reigning in my "creativity". you see, i'm a hippy on the inside. not in the pot-smoking-peace-loving kind of hippy, but in the dude-we-need-10-more-colors-in-that-square-inch kind of hippy. and sometimes my stuff tends to get tacky because of my love of color. you know, less is more? well, in my mind that holds true for everyone else. so i want to be careful not to let our adoption party get tacky! it's hard when you just want to throw 10 more colors in there!
anyway, this weekend we took 167 pictures of the kids just so we could get ONE good picture of both of them smiling. and we got it. so i have my adoption announcement picture all picked out and ready to go! now i just need a date!!

a little more of the scoop

well, this past month has been quite a bit more informative than months past. i have found out a few things that i can sort of put on the blog. really, i shouldn't, but i figure for those that follow* that i don't get to see in real life, you should get more of an update.

sweet pea does not get to see her mom anymore. for now. if her mom starts cooperating, she will get to visit again. at this point she's not in a place to be able to cooperate and show them that she can parent the way sweet pea needs her right now. her dad, bless is heart, is trying. he comes to visits. he brings her food. he's kind, he plays, he tries. but they are still unsure that he is going to be able to parent on his own, with out the help of his family. if his family were stepping up to help him, we'd have a different situation, but at this point they have not stepped forward the way the county needs them to step forward. they aren't getting their evaluations and home studies done and until they do that, they can't be considered as options. sweet pea has been in our care for 4 months now. at this point, that's a quarter of her life. it would be equivalent to me living with loving doting strangers for 8 1/2 years and then going back to a home where i was told they loved me, but no one ever showed me.

our first court date is coming up in early december. at that point i'll have more information. we are acting, like we do with all of our kids, that she is our own forever and ever. christmas is coming and we can't wait to shower her with gifts. we celebrated early with paul's side of the family this last weekend and i was just humbled by all the gifts and clothes and toys and books she got. last week my brother's wife and kids sent another box full of toys the kids had picked out of their own stash for sweet pea. and yet another brother sent her a gift card for whatever else falls between the cracks. she is set beyond belief. i can't believe, or thank you enough for how generous my family and friends have been in providing for us this year. and sweet pea is overwhelmed with all of the new toys and books she has all over the house.

in preparing for kids from 0-7 and spending every spare dime we had on the basic necessities to make our sterile house a kid friendly home, it didn't leave much left for the extras. we are trying to get back to square one and save up for next year for a) if sweet pea's case does not go to adoption and we can't take another foster heart break. at that point we will adopt from an agency. and b) if sweet pea's case does go to adoption, we won't get the much needed financial support from the county, including childcare, and will be facing being a one-income FAMILY. both options scare us in a way but we are trying to prepare, as best we can, now so that we have some options to fall back on.

*I do want to thank those of you that follow. sometimes it's really hard for me to talk about all of the stuff that's going on and other times i'm a gusher of information once i see you in person. thanks for always letting me know when you've been reading. it's fun to know who's really come and gone and it's fun to know that people are interested in what's going on. and an even bigger thanks to all of you that pray. i can feel your prayers and can often see god's hand in the goings on of our county and specifically our case.

ohmigosh ohmigosh ohmigosh!!!!

i just got really good news in an email. REALLY good news. i can't share much more than that so please don't call and ask me. just be really excited with me AND continue to pray! EEEEEK!!!! pray, be excited, then pray, then be excited, then pray AND be really excited.

on another note-paul is getting really irritated with me (rightfully so) that i don't get excited for pregnant women that didn't have to try for 2+ years. i'm trying to get over it. i'm at least able to love babies again. (i used to not make eye contact with them because i was angry that they were cute and somebody elses.) but i've at least gotten over that part. *sigh* so now i gotta get over pregnant ladies too! give me a break. one thing per decade. is that not fast enough?! i'm trying. i truly, promise you that i am trying. but i'm not there yet.

oh-and in funny this-is-really-my-life?-news: tonight i had acupuncture and i just love molly. now we can laugh that every other appointment will be my pms week and that i will probably come and just cry and cry and cry. ha! poor molly. i think my freckles conceal the part where i'm italian and make people think i'm irish (one of the FEW nationalities that ironically, i am not) so she doesn't know what a huge cryer i really am. well now that i have hormones flowing through my body i cry alot. and when i get pms AND hormones HA! i'm a MESS! so poor molly has to put up with me crying through every other acu appointment. anyway, tonight i said "paul's coming down and we're going to go to dinner" and she said "OH! he's coming here? with the baby?" and i said "oh...no actually, we're just meeting at the restaurant." and she deflated and said "oh." i said "you should come! we're just going right up the street.....seriously!" and she said "oh, no....would he mind?" heehee. she's so cute! and i said "oh no! he won't mind at all!" so she said "well i have some herbs to mix up and i'll be right there." so i got to have dinner with paul, sweet pea and molly. how fun is that? i love my crazy mixed up life. seriously. even though the infertility sucks. i do love my crazy life.

Foster Parents of the YEAR?! Really? US?!

We won foster parents of the year for our county, which i think is humbling and exciting all at once. our fellow foster mom, little brother's foster mom, nominated us, and so, got to present the award to us. at the end of the night our case worker snagged her notes and gave them to us. here's what she said:

extraordinary defined is being beyond what is usual; exceptional or remarkable.
extraordinary was john and ruth rose's 34-year commitment to the county and its children. the county created the john rose memorial award.

and while what all resource families provide for some of the greatest kids in the county is extraordinary, what a new family provided this past year certainly embodies the spirit of the roses.

tell me if any of the following scenario sounds familiar to anyone.
you are a new resource family that just needs to fill your respite (babysitting other foster kiddos) requirement to be certified for a newborn to 7-year-old child. you are scheduled to do respite this weekend when you get a call on friday morning to provide foster care for a 7 and 11 year old sisters.
you're a new family, so of course, you say yes. you have to say yes, right? (the correct answer is no-you have every right to not accept any placement.)

oh, did we mention that they are on a strict VEGAN diet and soon after placement a five-page dissertation of what not to do, what to do and how to do it is sent from the parents.

after two months of slaving away in the kitchen, craving red meat like crazy...but losing several pounds in the process and navigating whole foods, sunflower market and vitamin cottage like pros. did you know they make vegan marshmellows? do you know how many food products contain red-dye no. 40? after tempering the emotions of the 7 year old and the hormones of the tween and providing a week of respite for the third sibling, they reluctantly transitioned the giddy children home and even graciously accepted dinner invitations from the birthparents!

after taking a brief haitus from the kitchen due to pure exhaustion, they are now head over heels for a 16 month old angel, that's at home recovering from the flu, who could not look any more like her for-now father. how social services manages to do this i don't know.

while they try to keep their feet grounded while praying for their forever child, they continue to make extraordinary efforts in the everyday lives of the children they care for.

it gives me great pleasure to present the john rose memorial award to my friends Paul & Cheri'.

it made me cry-i know-what doesn't? but most of all i was honored that we were nominated AND chosen to be foster-parents of the year. i wish the prize was a baby, but unfortunately, it is not. we did get a really nice plaque though.

Cheri's

This is the woman I'm named after. I'm on the left, she's on the right. I have always been so flattered to be named after her because she's also the most fun person in the world. I don't even have to meet everyone else to know. She's a TON of fun-all the time! Even when she's going through hell in life she's still the most fun person on the planet. And to top it off she's gorgeous. She can wear anything and she's still gorgeous. This week she was in town for a conference so yesterday I got to go down and see her and she got to meet Sweet Pea and my husband. She'd met my husband before but it was our wedding and you know how weddings go. They are a whirlwind of a day then you are left standing alone with your new spouse realizing it's forever and you're no longer bridezilla and have no one to boss around. Anyway-that was the day that Cheri #1 met Paul. So it was a total blast to get to spend hours with her all to ourselves.

moving day

today we went down to englewood and helped fondue's mom, sheila, move. she bought a condo only 5 minutes away from the condo she's been renting the past few years. we first met her in vegas but we've become friends sans eric since we all came back to denver and he went back to LA with is li'l woman. it was fun to see her again but even more fun because eric came home for the big day. it is a NICE place and i can't wait to see how she puts things together. so that was my day. now i'm hoping to go see dark knight tonight, or should i say toknight, but we'll see. that would be two movies two weekends in a row. how fun for me!

new best friend!

so i have a new best friend. this is not to say that my old best friend is going to be replaced but it is to say that i have someone to talk to and do things with here in longmont. i'm so excited. it all started when tatum wanted to say hi to a beagle when we were on one of our walks. turns out buster, the beagle, and tatum are soul mates. they love each other. and when we are out and another dog is out then buster comes out tatum wants nothing to do with the other dogs. she only has eyes for buster. i think it's a bit of a crush. good thing she's been spayed so we don't have to deal with the teenage pregnancy years. anyway-i'm getting sidetracked. busters mom is josie and me and her really clicked. she reminds me of judy hanks, for those of you from champaign. but not in a mentor way, in a she's-fun-and-i-want-to-hang-out-with-her way. and then last night they called to see if we'd want to come over for drinks. hello! yes! so we went over there and we got to talking and she told me she's recently lost over 50 pounds on weight watchers. i had no idea because to me, she's always been this small. then later-this is when i knew it was meant to be-she said "would you ever have any interest in hiking longs peak this summer?" YES! so august 10th-ish we are going to go do that. i guess you have to start at 4am so we're taking the tent and sleeping bags and we're gonna sleep at the base and then hike up that morning, see the sunrise, and then hike back down. i am so excited.
so she's my longmont best friend.
my jacksonville best friend, it's a tie. i have three. they are each my best friend but in different ways. sort of like how heff has holly bridget and kendra. i love them each but they fit different compartments of my life.
i have andrea, who sadly, i don't have any pictures with (my time was way too short.) she fits the compartment where i just need someone my age that understands and i can let my hair down and she relates to me on a christian level. we have the same beliefs and that's so important. with out that little part it's hard to truly connect. but she's there for me. she lets me have a bad day and knows that i'm still a christian. i don't have to be careful around her and i love her for that.
then there's debbie. she is not a church-goer, but to say she's not a christian is kinda hard for me to say. i'm hoping some day she'll find herself back in church but she has a lot of hang ups about it and rightfully so. but i'm of the belief that just because you go to church doesn't make you a christian, and vise versa, just because you don't go to church doesn't mean you're not a christian. she's been let down by alot of people. i hope i'm never one of those people. she is the best person to sit on the front porch and have a glass of wine with. oh i loved days when we did that.
and then there's voncile. we connected deep down inside my heart. she has a beautiful garden. it was such a retreat, an oasis in the neighborhood. she helped me make my yard go from this to this:

I only have a couple pictures of Voncile but this is the only one of us together. She was so much fun. We would go out in the yard and giggle and giggle until we were too hot or tired to lift another shovel. see, i can't help but use capitalization when i talk about Voncile. she really got me into gardening and i really needed that outlet when i was going through the miscarriage. i would see beautiful plants and flowers and although i couldn't create human life, i could garden. it gave me something to give life to. it was very theraputic.

she taught me all kinds of things about southern hospitality and the unwritten rules of the south. things like, you should never EVER say thank you for flowers. but it is acceptable to say "i appreciate the flowers." she was relentless with that rule. and if you hear a neighbor is sick you should always have some homemade soup in the freezer that you can warm up and take over there. i will always have some form of food in my freezer now after living across the street from Voncile. i miss her more than she'll ever know.

Mamma Mia

tonight i went to see mamma mia. yes. it IS in fact opening night. one thing you might not know about me, because it does not come up in every day conversation, is that i have a crush on meryl streep. not in a i-want-her-in-the-sack kind of way but in a i-want-to-be-her-when-i-get-there kind of way. she is so sexy in a bohemian natural way. she has put on a couple pounds, she's aging gracefully and i'm SURE she's doing her best along the way but she's not fighting it. she is so naturally sexy and i just love it. i love that she doesn't paint her nails with bright colors. and i love that she almost never wears lipstick. it's just her colors. or at least that's what her make up consultant has me believing. so what could be better than a movie with meryl streep? how 'bout if you throw in ABBA!!!! hello?! i can't think of any better thing than meryl streep and abba...unless you added john cusak...ooo..now that would be fun. but unfortunately he didn't fit into this movie.

i went with my friend from college, brenda. the girl that was a cheerleader back in the day that i looked like a lesbian gym teacher, therefore we barely talked in college. we were nice to each other, no grievances to clear up, but we just didn't have anything in common. then. now...turns out we have a LOT in common and it's been so fun getting to know her in real life. life where clicks and groups don't get in the way. there was a point in the movie where we were both sitting there grinning at the screen missing our girlfriends from college. it made me miss the nights of bra dancing to big audio dynamite in just our bras and underwear. i miss my 2D friends every day. (that was the suite we lived in, 2nd floor, D wing, therefore we became known simply as "2D".)