a post from karyssa

samy etwymtjywyjtjwytywejmwqmeqwytweyyetywwemmweqjweyejyqeeeeeeeeq77mqqwtmjyjwjwejuekwjhje jhwjjeh dbfhe44hgf4hf g 5 hty45h5tyt3gdgfgnhttmuyuytmyjytm not sure how she got in here and did this in the time it took me to wipe asher's poopy bottom and get him a celebratory marshmellow (potty training treat)...but she did so i had to post.

summer's bounty

the other day karyssa came screaming into the house "he's eating it!!!!" gilligan? asher? something poisonous? WHAT?!?! and this is what came smiling into the house. mmmmhm. see that green on his bottom lip? that's the only evidence we have that a garden EVER grew in our yard this summer. it was a sprig of broccoli the size of my thumb that i'd been nurturing and coaxing with much fail. it was the only thing, besides a few leaves of lettuce and a handful of cilantro that grew and wasn't torn out by gilligan. that dog can NOT ignore freshly watered garden dirt. here is a picture of what's left of our summer bounty. i haven't given up all hope. after all, there are 4 potatoes hanging on for dear life.

keepin' up with the ....who'm i kidding? just keepin' up!!!

it has been a busy month. i do not know why. other than i've been training for a half marathon i'm running in preparation for a marathon this fall that i don't think i'm gonna run. i'm. so. tired. and. i'm getting old. it's true folks. i've been grappling with my own mortality. i do lots of physically challenging things. please don't think i have the body of wonder woman...well, maybe the girthy 80's wonder woman, but not a 2012-hally-barry version by far! but this month, i have begun to realize getting old happens. you lose your shape even if you did not have to give birth. i have the belly of homer simpson regardless of the fact that i ran 6 1/2 miles yesterday pushing a double stroller. *sigh* yup. it's true. people ask me why do you do that? and my answer is always simply "to see if i can." i don't need to do it fastest, or first, or better than anyone else. i just want to see if i can do it. however, the kids have been crazy active lately. and the bigger they get the more self-sufficient they get and the more they can climb or destroy with out any assistance. CRAZY HYPER ACTIVE! last friday, if i had the gas money and the energy...ok, let's face it, just the energy, you would have seen my pictures on the today show monday morning as the mom who left her kids in their rooms and driven to new mexico. it was just one. of. those. days. i chatted paul at 4:30 asking when he would be leaving work and i realized. it's just like on tv-the dad says "i just talked to her an hour ago...and then i came home and the kids were in their rooms perfectly fine but she was gone...no sign of struggle...at least i can't tell with the mess the house is...but she's just gone." and really, mom is perfectly fine, asleep in her car in the parking lot of a safeway 500 miles away in a tear-soaked snotty shirt. and they are her own tears and snot! i know what you're thinking. how could a stay at home mom be so worn out? well, frankly, i'm a stay at home mom. i don't get it. i'm supposed to have all this free time and yet it seems to be sucked into the abyss of past tense on a daily basis. i don't know where the time goes. we get up, we snuggle, we eat breakfast as we see daddy off to work, we go get energy out, we come home, lunch, naptime (which has been renamed quiet time because we don't need naps. rolling my eyes.) then we get up and play in the yard for a few hours, i begin dinner, karyssa gets to watch a movie, daddy comes home, dinner, tub, bedtime, dishes, sweeping the floors, tv for mommy and daddy, bed. what it feels like: wake up, snuggle, negotiate, fight between kids, clean up spilled ________, referee, argue, clean up spilled ________, negotiate, beg and plead, clean up spilled ________, make them eat, clean up spilled ________, bedtime, wake up crying, negotiate, clean up spilled ________, clean up spilled ________, clean up spilled ________, make dinner, negotiate..... you see the pattern. i'm exhausted. and i love it. they are so cute. and their giggles and crisp white baby teeth. ugh! wouldn't trade it for the world. but i am mortal and not sure how i will have the time to train to run this marathon.

crazy creepy purpose

there are times in life that just plain suck. and then there are times in life when you realize what just plain sucked was for a crazy creepy purpose. remember last february when we had 2 brothers for a few weeks? and they were each a month older than each of our newly adopted kids so we had 4 kids 2 years old and under. and it was HARD. but man i loved those boys. they were so cute and rather easy, all things considered. well, baby huey got adopted by his real family last week. by "real family" i don't mean the family he was born into. i mean the family that he was put on this planet for. there are those bumper stickers that are shaped like paw prints and they say "who rescued who?" and i think they should make those with hand prints for couples who had a long hard stretch of road before finally becoming parents. especially for those who have longed for a mother's day to celebrate but have had to swallow the frog in their throat and just get through that damned holiday for one more year. and this year, my friend libby, will celebrate a real mother's day. with her real son! at the adoption party she told me that baby huey, aka gil, has a cousin that was born the day before him. they were watching her niece while the baby was born and had taken her up to the hospital to meet her new baby brother and for whatever reason at the last minute decided to just go on up and visit. at this particular hospital they ring a bell every time a baby is born. which means, she was there when her son was born. she HEARD his bell being rung! it wasn't for 13 more months that she would get to meet him. not for 28 more months before he would become hers. for real and forever. but just knowing she got to be "with" him in a sense when he came into this world is enough to hold onto, and to realize that god does know what he's doing. even though sometimes it's a crappy route for those 28 months in between. maybe i'm too simple minded but it's enough to make me believe there is a god and we all do serve a purpose and he does care about how we get to where he needs us. so happy mother's day and congratulations libby, duane and especially gil! you're where you were meant to be all along!!!! xo